Mr. Schue ambles out of Hot Carl's office to find Rachel in the waiting room, avidly poring over The Unauthorized Biography Of Britney Spears in order to get one over on Our Brittany, or something. Mr. Schue wishes her good luck with her dental appointment, and we've thus arrived at...
...the third Britney video knock-off of the evening! This one involves Rachel, of course, performing a near shot-by-shot remake of "...Baby One More Time," and it's ...easily the ...worst of the ...lot, mainly because the only spin the show attempts to put on it is Lea Michele subtly mocking That Britney's already hilariously exaggerated lip-synching technique. I mean, if ever there were an opportunity for this series to punch up the autotuning to the point of self-parody, this video would be it, given how horribly overproduced That Britney's voice is on the original. Instead, they've knocked the tune up a couple of keys, which is a huge mistake on its own because this fluffy piece of crap desperately needs the original's lower key to ground it with some sense of weight, and so when Lea Michele leaps all the way up into her head voice at points, the entire thing falls apart.
Oh, and That Britney's a much better dancer, too, which makes it all that much worse. Still, if you just let the whole thing breeze past, it's kind of cute. Especially if you ignore Finn's occasional presence in the background. By the way, That Britney makes the second of her three entirely unnecessary appearances in this episode at the very beginning of this sequence as the teacher who shoots Rachel a foul side-eye. Just so you know.
"You Glee kids are impossible to work on," Hot Carl smiles as Rachel emerges from the anesthetic. "You're always moving around when you're under." "Is this real life?" Rachel bleats. Commercials.
The next day at school, Rachel arrives in her version of That Britney's "I'm A Teenaged High School Slut" outfit from the pre-commercials fantasy sequence and manages to turn quite a few jock heads, much to Finn's dismay. The two indulge in even more of that bullshit angst-ridden teenaged high-school romance crap I totally do not care about, this time ending with newly confident Rachel airily granting Finn permission to rejoin the football team -- if he can -- before she boobs on out of the frame. Meanwhile, Brit-Brit's been petting Jewfro's jewfro in the blurry background of the shot, and once Rachel's gone, we can hear her coo, "It looks like a Jewish cloud." Creepily smitten Jewfro ducks out from beneath Brit-Brit's curious attentions and jumps into Finn's face with, "What do you want for her? I'll give you anything -- I'll give you my house! I'll kill my parents and I'll give you my house!" Finn groans and dolts out of the frame in the opposite direction, leaving Creepily Smitten Jewfro to gross, "Wanky, wanky!" and LALALALALALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU, JEWFRO.