Glee

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It's Brittany, Bitch

The sordid tale continues with pasty naked Jewfro down in Sue's office, seated upon her Chair Of Shame while she coolly listens to his babbling explanations for the atrocity we were just forced to endure. Sue does get in a good line about pasty naked Jewfro's stank-ass butt-crack, but we'll be otherwise ignoring this scene in favor of...

...smearing back to the otherwise empty teacher's lounge, where Will agrees, "That is really gross, Sue." Understatement! However, he argues that kids will be kids, which leads to the following delightful non sequitur from Sue: "I realize you're still mourning the loss of that bony, redheaded hominid you're in love with. I understand that. I also understand that you bought a brand-new car to impress her. You're flailing, William! And I'm secretly hoping it's a midlife crisis, which means you're halfway to an early death, affording me a blissful, demented senescence spent peeing on your grave!" Will, far less appreciative of Sue's brilliance than I, asks her to get to the point. "Don't let your own recklessness blind you to the fact that Britney Spears is a genius pop culture provocateur!" Sue warns, and it says something about Jane Lynch's delivery of that line that this bit of show-sponsored guest-star ass-kissing bothers me not in the least.

Sue goes on to caution that Ms. Spears is "a gateway drug to every out-of-control impulse ever created," and she's got a butt-sweat stained Chair Of Shame to prove it. "I'm not kidding," she assures him. "It's like an ink-blot test, that butt-sweat stain -- stare into it, William, and you will see the light of all that is good go out of the world!" Sue is not, in fact, kidding, for when I inadvertently paused the playback on pasty naked Jewfro's stank-ass butt-sweat stain, I felt the darkness surging up to overwhelm me. Fortunately, I was able to hit play in time to rejoin Sue as she stands to exit. Just before she reaches the door, however, she draws herself up and realizes, "Wait a second -- you look even more confused now than ever. Is your Glee Club doing Britney Spears music? Is that why Rachel was wearing that inappropriate outfit?" "No! We are not doing Britney!" Will LIES, for that sucky Idea he got a couple of scenes ago actually does involve "doing Britney," as we shall see at some point following the next commercial break.

Cue the third of That Britney's entirely unnecessary appearances in this episode, as she materializes at the beginning of Artie's anesthesia-induced fantasy to reprimand Single-T Tina for breaking up with "such a sweetheart." This sets up Artie's football-themed version of "Stronger," in which his fellow team members basically sashay Artie's pimped-out battering ram of a wheelchair to victory while Single-T Tina mournfully watches from the bleachers behind a banner that reads, "LOSER." As you might surmise, it's anything but subtle. It is, however, cute, especially when Dream Artie starts throwing his patented White Boy Karaoke Gang Signs in the middle of it all. Besides, it's always amusing to watch the football team attempt choreography.

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Glee

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