Glee

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It's Brittany, Bitch

Will, exasperated, crosses to Emma's table to make amends over the whole "Toxic" debacle, and it's really just more boring relationship chatter, so I'll cut to the chase: Emma insists that Will needn't try to be someone he's not just to impress her, and Will leaves to return his midlife-crisis-mobile to the dealership. Wow. That was relatively painless.

Hall. Quinn sidles up to Frankenteen and suggests they begin dating again. Frankenteen turns her down, and requests that she respect his relationship with Rachel. Quinn sidles up to Rachel, who'd been eavesdropping on the entire conversation, and confirms that Frankenteen just turned her down with a request that she respect his relationship with Rachel. I'm tempted to zap back to pasty naked Jewfro's stank-ass butt-sweat stain so the surging darkness can overwhelm me, thereby ensuring I never have to listen to this tedious relationship crap again. And... scene. Wow. That was the exact opposite of the paragraph above it.

Music room, and oh, my holy Christ, SHUT UP, RACHEL. She doesn't listen to me, and instead rises to dedicate a song to Finn, because she's realized she was "trying to hold on to how [he] was making [her] feel so much that [she] was strangling [him] in [her] hands like a little bird." "I get now," she continues, still refusing to SHUT THE HELL UP ABOUT HER STUPID, POINTLESS ADOLESCENT BULLSHIT ALREADY, "that in order for this relationship to work, I have to put up my hands and let you fly free." Brittany, to the room, amazed: "Finn can fly?" Kurt, to Brittany, aghast: "Really?" Brittany, blessedly changing the subject: "Wait. I thought I was the only one getting the solos from now on. Next week, I'm going to be performing a musical number by Ke$ha." Hee. I wonder if That Britney realizes how much Ryan Murphy actually hates her.

And in the end, Rachel leads the rest of the group in a cover of some Delilah-ready annoyance called "The Only Exception" while the camera darts away from the performance to indulge in this totally romantic montage of Will stalking Hot Carl and Emma before heading back inside to linger on a slow-motion bout of hand-holding between Frankenteen and Rachel until it finally returns to the music room where -- in the only vaguely interesting relationship-related moment of the evening -- Quinn mouths a line of the song to Puck. I want to see Puck and Quinn rise up and unite to crush the rest of these mopey morons beneath their devastatingly well-turned heels.

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Glee

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