Glee

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It's Brittany, Bitch

Emma calmly admits to having "some control issues in the past," but maintains that her new boyfriend Carl has been helping her overcome those rather endearing personality quirks of hers as of late. For instance, just the other day Carl insisted she buy both green and red grapes at the market, and then they just threw them all together in a bowl and ate them! "It was madness!" she beams, entirely unironically. "Sheer madness!" Will attempts to mock at her, but New Boyfriend Carl chooses this very moment to pop by for an impromptu visit, and STAMOS! Damn him and his jet-black hair and his winning smile! For yes, as was announced months ago, John Stamos -- the television personality whom Emma herself once noted has "more certainty than talent" -- is now appearing as Emma's new boyfriend, Carl Howell DDS, and I'm already wondering what contrivance they're going to pull out of their collective ass to have him sing Steve Martin's number from Little Shop Of Horrors in a future episode.

In any event, Hot Carl -- go look it up if you have to -- just popped by to take Emma out for lunch because he "love[s] that look of instant panic" Emma gets whenever he tries to change her routine. Emma flusters about on her chair as Hot Carl plants a big old sloppy wet one on her lips, and she remains rather adorably flummoxed while Hot Carl makes friends with Will, who's more than a bit flabbergasted himself. Unfortunately, Hot Carl's pager goes off during the meet-and-greet, calling him back to the office for an emergency root canal. Hot Carl bemoans the disgusting amount of sugar in contemporary teenage diets for a bit, allowing Emma to exposit that Hot Carl's been "trying to get the school board to let him come and do a seminar on good dental hygiene," but the school board thus far has been dragging its feet on the proposal. Likely because the school board understands it's simply a ploy to drum up additional business for his practice, but whatever.

Will, obviously trying to get back in Emma's good graces, suggests Hot Carl speak with the Glee Club that afternoon. "I'm usually pretty tight about our rehearsal schedule," Will goes to great lengths to explain, "but I think I can loosen the reins a little bit for [Hot] Carl!" Shut up, Will. Unfortunately, Loosening The Reins A Little Bit In Order To Impress Emma will be his character's throughline for the rest of the evening, so he'll never shut up about it, ever. Oy.

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Glee

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