Glee

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It's Brittany, Bitch

...wakes up giggling to herself, with Santana doing the same on Hot Carl's other chair.

The next day in the music room, Mr. Schue's blathering something banal about Christopher Cross when Brittany raises her hand to state, "I would just like to say that from now on, I demand to have every solo in Glee Club." Rachel shoots a frantic look at Mr. Schue, who relays that frantic look to Brittany. Brittany blithely ignores all the panicky gawping to explain, "When I had my teeth cleaned? I had the most amazing Britney Spears fantasy? I sang and danced better than her? Now I realize what a powerful woman I truly am?" "I went with her," Santana Lopez happily confirms, "and I had a Britney fantasy, too, although now that I'm thinking about it? I'm not really sure how our fantasies combined." Single-T Tina looks nauseated at the very idea of Our Brittany and Santana Lopez sharing a That Britney fantasy at the dentist's office, but before we get a chance to explore that fascinating reaction, Kurt pipes up from the cheap seats with, "You see, Mr. Schue? I told you: Britney Spears busted our Brit out of her everyday fragmented haze of confusion, and gave her the confidence to step up and perform!" "I'm more talented than all of you," Our Brittany asserts. "I can see that clearly now." She pauses for a moment before triumphantly concluding, "It's Brittany...bitch." Snerk.

Mr. Schue shouts out above the generalized nonsense that they are not doing Britney Spears this week, and that's final. Kurt, for whatever reason, explodes at this, and all but shrieks, "You are letting your own personal issues get in the way of something that we are all telling you we really want to do! I mean, this club regularly pays tribute to pop culture, and Britney Spears is pop culture! To suggest otherwise is heretical!" When Mr. Schue interrupts Kurt's tirade to snap at the precious adolescent queen, the precious adolescent queen snaps back, "Jeez, let loose a little, would you? Stop being so frigging uptight all the time!" Oh, Kurt. You sort of had me with that first bit, and then you totally lost me when you slapped Mr. Schue across the teeth with his personal Theme Of The Week. I'm afraid it's detention for you, young man. Mr. Schue is of much the same mind as yours truly and orders Kurt to The Lair Of The Maharishi. Kurt defiantly stands to leave and...dude! Is he wearing a pleated skirt? Over leggings? Even Marc Jacobs is, like, "Honey. Stop."

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Glee

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