The next day at school, Rachel arrives in her version of That Britney's "I'm A Teenaged High School Slut" outfit from the pre-commercials fantasy sequence and manages to turn quite a few jock heads, much to Finn's dismay. The two indulge in even more of that bullshit angst-ridden teenaged high-school romance crap I totally do not care about, this time ending with newly confident Rachel airily granting Finn permission to rejoin the football team -- if he can -- before she boobs on out of the frame. Meanwhile, Brit-Brit's been petting Jewfro's jewfro in the blurry background of the shot, and once Rachel's gone, we can hear her coo, "It looks like a Jewish cloud." Creepily smitten Jewfro ducks out from beneath Brit-Brit's curious attentions and jumps into Finn's face with, "What do you want for her? I'll give you anything -- I'll give you my house! I'll kill my parents and I'll give you my house!" Finn groans and dolts out of the frame in the opposite direction, leaving Creepily Smitten Jewfro to gross, "Wanky, wanky!" and LALALALALALALA, I CAN'T HEAR YOU, JEWFRO.
And sure enough, the next time we see Will, he's sitting in the teacher's parking lot in a Corvette of his very own, even though he'd never be able to secure the financing for one given his salary and this economy, and can I skip ahead to the next...oh, wait. This is about to get good. A mildly bemused Emma's ensconced in the passenger seat, and the odiously coiffed midlife crisis is about to take her out for a spin -- to the silky-smooth Adult Contemporary strains of "Sailing," no less -- when Terri pops up from out of nowhere to scream, "Get out of the car!" I should note at this point that Terri's sporting a pair of serious black leather dominatrix boots during this scene. I love Terri so much. "I'm taking this back to the dealer!" Terri yells, rapidly advancing upon her ex-husband, who has manfully leapt from the driver's seat for the confrontation. Before Will can open his mouth, however, Terri notices Emma's presence, whips off her chicly oversized Chanel sunglasses, and howls, "Oh, hey, homewrecker!" I love Terri even more. Will loudly wonders if he has to remind Terri that they're divorced, and Terri bays back that she's reminded of that fact every month when she receives her spousal support check. "The one that I know you can't send me," she adds, "if you're buying a car that you can't afford!"
I should note that, in addition to the serious black leather dominatrix boots and the chicly oversized Chanel sunglasses, Terri appears to be wearing a mink jacket. While screaming about her spousal support checks. And my love for Terri Delmonico Schuester is complete. Emma's not feeling nearly as affectionate as I am, however, for she now huffily exits the ludicrous Corvette to stomp back to her office. The instant Emma's out of earshot, Terri changes her mind about the whole thing and tells Will, "Actually, I think you should keep this car. You should enjoy it -- you know, at least until they repossess it -- but just don't buy any more big-ticket items, okay?" "And why is that?" Will peeves. "Because someday, you are gonna come to your senses," Terri promises, all psychotic eyeliner and batshit determination, "and you're gonna get over that Little Miss Crazypants, and you're gonna come back to the one woman who really knows how to love you, and I just don't want you to have blown all of our savings when you do." With that, she adjusts her mink jacket, slides the chicly oversized Chanel sunglasses back onto her face, and spins on her serious black leather dominatrix heel to strut off from whence she came. Jessalyn Gilsig just made this episode.