ANY-way, where the hell was I? Oh, yeah: So, Idiot Rachel totally biffs her audition for Fake Drama School In New York, and it's gruesome. She does little more than mix up a couple of the lyrics midway through the song, but that tiny error completely throws her, and her subsequent meltdown is actually excruciating to watch. And I mean that as a compliment, 'cause like Dot Marie Jones before her, Lea Michele is selling the absolute hell out of Rachel's rapidly escalating moments of confusion and terror and panic and pleading and soul-crushing loss, here. I hate it when actors somehow manage to overcome shitty writing and make me feel things.

Naturally, this awful, evil show proceeds to take a massive dump all over Rachel's scene of soul-crushing loss by leaping immediately into the ha-ha funnies of Puck's late-night European Geography cram session -- which is taking place in the music room for some stupid reason, and whatever -- and I just can't deal with these jarring, senseless, asinine shifts in tone anymore, so long story short, the assembled gentlemen of New Directions (minus St. Gay Of Lima) magically stumble into a punk version of "The Rain in Spain" from My Fair Lady, and while no one on the forum boards can quite figure out this arrangement's origin, everyone seems to agree that Glee didn't come up with it itself. And when it's over, chipper Artie -- ever the optimist -- perks, "Moving on! What rhymes with 'preindustrial European deforestation'? Anybody?" Wah wah waaaaaaaah. Also: Commercial.

Locker Room. White Sue enters to express her dismay with Coach Beiste. White Sue, you see, was under the impression Coach Beiste would be bunking at her place the previous evening, but Coach Beiste never showed up. Coach Beiste apologizes, and tells White Sue she spent the entire night moving in with her sister, Denise. As in "Denise Beiste," and yes, White Sue cracks wise about Denise Beiste living under a bridge somewhere before quite genuinely expressing her relief that Coach Beiste is okay. "I really admire what you're doing," White Sue admits, adding, "I know how difficult it must be." "Not as difficult as what I'm about to do," Coach Beiste sighs by way of reply, and with that, we get shunted over to...