...the music room, where Coach Beiste informs Sugar Motta, Santana Lopez, Mercedes, Brit-Brit and Single-T Tina of recent Cooter-related events in her life, while the deeply sympathetic Sues look on from the sidelines. Coach Beiste apologizes for lying to them about it all, but as I still don't need this show to tell me over and over again that Wife Beating Is A Very Bad Thing, I'll be skipping ahead to...
...Puck's European Geography exam, which is already in progress. Puck's apparently spent the first half of the allotted hour drawing a death-metal dragon on his answer sheet, but when the assembled gentlemen of New Directions (minus St. Gay Of Lima) appear in the classroom's doorway to toss him the evil eye, he forces himself to answer a few questions. Fortunately, the first two of those questions just happen to be My Fair Lady-related. Unfortunately, every other question on the exam seems to deal with preindustrial European deforestation, so I'm guessing Puck's going to biff this little test of his just as badly as Idiot Rachel biffed that great big test of her own. And here I'd been thinking the episode's title was talking about what Beiste's Cooter did to her behind closed doors.
Of course, once it's over, Puck lies about how he did to the assembled gentlemen of New Directions (minus St. Gay Of Lima) because, hey, they just pulled an all-nighter helping him study, so why not? There's also some unimportant blather about the assembled gentlemen of New Directions (minus St. Gay Of Lima) teaching Puck the mysterious ways of the modern man, or some such horseshit, and then we're off into this evening's final commercial break.
Music Room. Coach Beiste enters to find Brit-Brit, Sugar Motta, Santana Lopez, Mercedes and Single-T Tina already waiting for her, and we have now arrived at my favorite moment of the evening. In fact, I think it's my favorite moment on this show since Santana hauled off and slapped the holy living crap out of Frankenteen's smug, talent-free face. The girls sit Coach Beiste down in a chair and, as a way of thanking her for the strength she's shown over the last couple of days, Santana, Tina and Mercedes serenade her with a lovely, low-key acoustic version of "Shake It Out" by Florence + The Machine. And because we can never just have nice things on this show anymore, the ladies' performance is intercut with scenes of Coach Beiste foolishly and furtively returning to her Cooter under cover of night, and when Coach Beiste draws the ladies in for a hug after the song's over, she looks absolutely shattered by the shame of it all. Poor Beiste.