Idiot Rachel of course ignores me, and we shoot forward in time once more to stand with her in front of her en suite bathroom's mirror as she finishes her day by reciting the following at her reflection: "You are a star, Rachel Berry, and in just two days from now, you are going to shine so bright on that stage that the sun is gonna cry with envy. You know when your time is, and it's now." Wrong! Now is the time for tonight's title card, moron. Also: She's totally going to biff her audition for Fake Drama School In New York, isn't she? I mean, that's obviously the takeaway from this opening sequence, right? Right. So, why do we have to sit through the next goddamned hour, then? Huh? HUH? This stupid show.
Hallowed Halls Of Dear McKinley High. As Puck carefully hangs a set of nunchucks in his locker, Frankenteen lurches over to kick-start Puck's subplot for the evening like so: "I heard you talking to that sophomore girl yesterday." "Back off, dude," Puck immediately replies, noting, "You got a fiancée, plus I called dibs on all the chicks whose boobs aren't done growing yet." Frankenteen hastens to assure his sometime friend that he has no designs on the lovely ladies of the sophomore class. Rather, he happened to overhear a disturbing snippet of Puck's conversation.
Smear sideways to Puck telling the anonymous lass, "I might not graduate, but it's okay, 'cause gowns are for ladies, and tassels are for strippers." Point to Puck? I guess. Whatever.
Back in the present, Puck rolls his eyes and begins to wander off down the hall, but Frankenteen will not be deterred from his self-appointed mission, and while he concedes that Puck already has a solid plan for his future, what with Puck's oft-mentioned intent to move his pool cleaning business to Los Angeles, Frankenteen insists that graduating from high school is still an important goal. Puck assures Frankenteen that, while he appreciates the "brovention," Frankenteen's worries are for naught, as all Puck need do is pass "Mrs. Dusenberry's European Geography test," and he'll be striding across that graduation stage with the rest of them later this month. And how, exactly, will Puck pass this important exam?
Smear sideways to Puck making an awkward attempt to seduce the prim-looking Mrs. Dusenberry in the middle of class by informing her that the Danube is wet. "Real wet," in fact, and once that's over with, we smear back to...