Episode Report Card
Demian: N/A | 1 USERS: D-
Beiste's Cooter Throws A Mean Right Hook

Of course, once it's over, Puck lies about how he did to the assembled gentlemen of New Directions (minus St. Gay Of Lima) because, hey, they just pulled an all-nighter helping him study, so why not? There's also some unimportant blather about the assembled gentlemen of New Directions (minus St. Gay Of Lima) teaching Puck the mysterious ways of the modern man, or some such horseshit, and then we're off into this evening's final commercial break.

Music Room. Coach Beiste enters to find Brit-Brit, Sugar Motta, Santana Lopez, Mercedes and Single-T Tina already waiting for her, and we have now arrived at my favorite moment of the evening. In fact, I think it's my favorite moment on this show since Santana hauled off and slapped the holy living crap out of Frankenteen's smug, talent-free face. The girls sit Coach Beiste down in a chair and, as a way of thanking her for the strength she's shown over the last couple of days, Santana, Tina and Mercedes serenade her with a lovely, low-key acoustic version of "Shake It Out" by Florence + The Machine. And because we can never just have nice things on this show anymore, the ladies' performance is intercut with scenes of Coach Beiste foolishly and furtively returning to her Cooter under cover of night, and when Coach Beiste draws the ladies in for a hug after the song's over, she looks absolutely shattered by the shame of it all. Poor Beiste.

Hallowed Halls Of Dear McKinley High. St. Gay Of Lima approaches Idiot Loser Rachel at the latter's locker, and he apologizes for succeeding where she failed. I think. They talk for quite a bit, here, and I'm afraid I zoned out because I've a sneaking suspicion none of this will matter next week. And when their talk is done, Idiot Loser Rachel drifts into her episode-ending version of Kelly Clarkson's "Cry," which is yet another song I'm pretty happy to be entirely unfamiliar with, though I have to admit that Lea Michele is killing these moments dead, too. It begins right there at her locker, but eventually, Idiot Loser Rachel ends up onstage in The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, where she wails away into the darkness alone while we're treated to a brief scene of Puck receiving an F on his European Geography exam, much as we all anticipated. And when it's all, all over, the camera lingers on Idiot Loser Rachel's weepy face for a moment before discreetly panning away to black.

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