After stomping out of the music room, the primary kiddies involved are magically transported to the wings of The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, where they primp and preen for the devastating show to follow, all the while unloading several metric tons of attitude upon their beleaguered assistants, here being played by Artie, Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen, and New Finn. Brittany in particular unleashes an especially severe -- and especially hysterical -- beatdown on New Finn for some perceived slight or another, and then it's out onto the stage proper, where the six strut through a phalanx of flashbulbs down the magically-appearing runway in a range of couture-inspired costumes that range from the flat-out fugly to the ridiculously divine. (Brittany and Blaine look exceptionally good, here -- letting the curl back into Darren Criss's hair does wonders, and Heather Morris owns that motherfucking catwalk.) The would-be divas strike one last fantabulous pose, and almost before we know it, we're...

...slammed back to the music room, where Miss Pillsbury's just now finishing her little lecture with a bright and perky, "And that is how I made the manager cry at The Cheesecake Factory: By being a diva!" The children offer her a polite round of applause.

The Horrible Hooker's Bushwick Bordello. After a few bitchy preliminaries, The Horrible Hooker and St. Gay Of Lima descend into a screaming match that basically boils down to this: According to St. Gay, The Horrible Hooker has turned into a "self-righteous" hag "on steroids," and according to The Horrible Hooker, St. Gay is jus jelass. It all ends up with St. Gay challenging The Horrible Hooker to a vocal duel at something called "Midnight Madness," which The Horrible Hooker strongly advises against -- after all, didn't she already beat him in a head-to-head sing-off? Much to my delight, St. Gay reveals he intentionally threw that little competition all those many years ago to protect his father, and Rachel's subsequent nervous breakdown is a joy to behold. "That was my first big win!" she howls in protest. "That was the foundation that I built all of my confidence on for the last two years!" "Consider it cracked," St. Gay snots, adding, "Get ready for Diva-Off Part Two -- and this time, I'm not throwing anything." Rachel gapes. Heh.