The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion. Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen enters from the wings to find a fierce-looking Santana Lopez already waiting for him on the stage, and they proceed to snipe and snarl at each other for a few very long minutes over The Brittany Situation, after which Santana challenges him to a sing-off of their very own right there, right now. Of course, the biggest problem with this is the fact that there's no one else around to judge who wins, so I'm not certain at all what the point of any of this is supposed to be, and is it just me, or did this episode's structure just fall completely to shit after the first commercial break? This Santana stuff is coming in from out of nowhere, the Midnight Madness subplot became utterly pointless in a matter of seconds a couple of scenes ago, no one gives a shit about Old Finn's love life... I mean, I get that this is just a filler episode, and that we're all simply marking time until next week's Valentine-themed wedding extravaganza, but didn't they used to put a little more effort into these things in the past?
Feh. Again: It's not like I really care, so whatever. Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen and Santana Lopez sing the Kenny Rogers version of Kim Carnes's "Make No Mistake, He's Mine," and while Naya Rivera looks fantastic in that curve-hugging light purple frock of hers, I can barely remember the song once it's done.
Hallowed Halls Of Dear McKinley High. Single-T Tina loiters amid the lockers, infuriated that Santana Lopez has once again swooped in from out of nowhere to steal her thunder, and through an angry voiceover she insists she deserves better for herself. Her mood lightens considerably, however, when she catches sight of Dreamboat Blaine blowing snot into a delicate hankie at the far end of the hall, and Tina's Voiceover swoons, "Look at him! He's like a precious Tiger Beat Shrinky Dink, with his dark, Pound Puppy eyes, and his...!" Tina's Voiceover cuts itself short at this point because even Tina's Voiceover realizes how pathetic and lonely it sounds, but for whatever reason, this fails to deter Actual Tina from swooping down upon the ill Dreamboat Blaine to offer him some Vicks VapoRub to ease his congestion. "You're so sweet," Blaine sighs, genuinely grateful. Unfortunately, his kind words do little more than send Single-T Tina into a deeply depressed funk, and as she slumps against the wall, she moans, "I don't wanna be sweet! I wanna be the girl that kicks in the door and makes demands and gets what she wants!" So, she wants to be Season Two Mercedes, then? We'll go with that. I mean, they've already got her reliving Mercedes's Season One plotlines, so they might as well have her recycle it all. Pity I don't remember what happened to Mercedes in Season Three, though. If I did, I could just skip over Tina's stuff for the rest of the year.