McKinley High Teachers' Lounge. As Bloaty The Gravy Clown pours himself a cup of coffee, Emma worries herself into a mini-tizzy over her much-delayed wedding plans at one of the tables, and as I had completely forgotten about this completely abandoned subplot until right this very second, I have zero desire to spend any time with it at all this evening, so: Long story short, Will's returning from Washington next week to marry Emma on Valentine's Day. Everybody feeling all caught up, now? Good.
Naturally, news of Will's imminent arrival makes Frankenteen fret about losing the job he's not getting paid for in the first place. Emma kindly assures Old Finn that Will probably won't be kicking him out onto the street anytime soon, what with the masterful way Bloaty conspired to silence their Sectionals competition.
With that out of the way, the two settle down to chit-chat about Regionals, and basically, Frankenteen's convinced this year's members of The New New Directions lack the ability and drive to "bully" the other teams off the stage as their predecessors supposedly did in the past. Emma considers that for a moment before suggesting "a lesson that toughens them up. "Weren't there weeks where Will had you competing against each other?" she wonders. There were, indeed. Far too many to link, actually, but that doesn't really matter at this point because what does matter at this point is the fact that Bloaty The Gravy Clown quickly agrees it would be an excellent idea to pull that same kind of crap tonight. Would Miss Pillsbury agree to be their "special celebrity guest judge to help decide who wins"? Of course she would!
Cut to the music room, where Miss Pillsbury scrawls the word "DIVA" in gigantic letters on the whiteboard while Bloaty The Gravy Clown opens things up by claiming that this evening's Diva Week is "all about finding your inner powerhouse." Sounds kinky. Frankenteen then turns the proceedings over to Miss Pillsbury, who cites the Internet in order to define the term "diva" like so: "A fierce, often temperamental singer who comes correct. She is not a trick-ass ho, and she does not sweat the haters." Artie and Not-So-Unique nod solemnly in agreement with this while New Puck mopes -- loudly -- that The Glee Guys are getting screwed over this week. Dreamboat Blaine, ever helpful, shoots forward in his seat to remind everyone that men can be divas, too, though for some incomprehensible reason, he neglects to add, "And I should know -- I dated one for two fucking years."