School. Artie wheels himself into Emma's office -- her necklace is to die, by the way -- and informs the guidance counselor that he'll be requiring a prescheduled weekly meeting with her for the foreseeable future in order to prepare for his inevitable... you know what? Screw this shit. Artie hands Emma that ream of research Single-T Tina pulled off the Internet one night last week and claims it proves he'll be walking again soon, so Emma's all, "They didn't go and change the meaning of the phrase 'crippled for life' when I was busy coordinating my adorable little outfit this morning, did they? Because if they didn't, then I'm pretty sure it still means that you're never going to get out of that chair, kid. Ever." Only she's much kinder about the entire situation than I was just there, of course. And because he ate stupid for breakfast this morning, Artie is crushed, and sadly wheels himself out of there. Or something like that. NEXT!
Music Room. Bryan Ryan, with all the fervor of a new convert, has raided the Cheerios budget to embark upon a mad spending spree through The Jazz Hands Catalogue (yes, I checked and no, it doesn't exist) and now bestows upon the Glee kids such choice goodies as a set of custom-made New Directions jean jackets, some "rad tearaway dancewear," and the sheet music from every Broadway show produced in the last fifty years. Cue Sue, who enters to announce she's "over the moon" for Mr. Schue. The rotund director of Les Miserables, you see, just happens to be the guy she's contracted to provide the Cheerios with dry-cleaning service, and Sue -- ever sneaky, ever fabulous -- obviously coerced the guy into awarding Mr. Schue the part of Jean Valjean. And Bryan Ryan? Sue secured for him the role of "Townsperson," who gets one line at the end of the second act: "Hooray!" Hee. Her seeds of dissent thus so masterfully sown, Sue exits, and not an instant goes by before Bryan Ryan announces that he's cutting the Glee Club from the district's budget for good. With that, he flounces on out of there with his choice Jazz Hands goodies in tow, leaving a freshly beleaguered Mr. Schue to sigh his way into this evening's final commercial break.
Lima Theatre Guild, and let's get this asinine storyline over with, shall we? Bryan Ryan's pacing the lobby, assiduously rehearsing his single line when Will breezes in to announce he's resigned from the musical. The part of Jean Valjean is Bryan's, if the latter still wants it. Of course he does! And while we're at it, consider the Glee Club funding restored! Whew! What a relief! NEXT!