And when we return, we're immediately slung into a series of quick cross-cuts between Single-T Tina and Gaylord Wiener bickering up in the library and Brittany attempting to seduce Artie down by his locker. Basically, Gaylord knows he can't sing and therefore just wants to dance around Tina while she performs a solo, but Tina's having none of that, because she wants to win the BreadstiX gift certificate so they can go out on an actual date that doesn't include dragging his mother along to a dim sum restaurant so Mama Gaylord can chow down on steamed pork knuckles and chicken-foot salad while keeping an eye on her golden boy of a son and his inappropriately attired girlfriend. Meanwhile, Brittany's apparently decided the only way she'll snag that BreadstiX gift certificate for herself is by posing as Artie's main squeeze, and to that end, she claims she's always wanted to get him into a stroller. No, seriously. Artie's way into the idea, for whatever dark and depraved reason, and he immediately starts in with his typically ugly gloating as Brittany wheels him past an incredulous Santana Lopez. Behind Artie's back, Brit-Brit points at her bit-bits and wags a no-no finger around in Santana's face. Santana looks annoyed. Or guilty. Or possibly both.

Over in the boys' locker room, Weenie Von Bieberhausen emerges from the showers clad in nothing more than a towel -- yowza -- to chat with Finn about the proposed duet with Kurt, which Finn still vehemently opposes on the grounds it will doom Sam to the subbasement of McKinley's social hierarchy, because of the whole gay thing. "I didn't realize you had a problem with gay dudes," Sam coolly notes, donning a t-shirt that features a whopping big bull's eye across the chest for reasons that will soon become apparent. "Look, I don't have a problem with gay dudes," Finn claims, "but everyone else does, and we're living in their world, and in their world, you singing a duet with Kurt is a death sentence." So's sporting that cowl-neck sweater you're currently modeling, Frankenteen, but that didn't stop you from pulling it on this morning, now did it? "I gave him my word," Sam calmly explains, "and in my world, that's that." And having finished dressing at some point during the conversation, Sam slams shut his locker and...

...heads out into the hall, where Karofsky and Azimio (and yes, I had to look up their names) launch slushies at that whopping big bull's eye across Sam's chest. Of course, because their aim sucks, most of it ends up in Sam's face. "Welcome to Glee Club, Lady Lips!" Azimio taunts, and I now have a new nickname for Weenie Von Bieberhausen. Thanks, Guy Who's Name I'll Forget Again As Soon As You're Off The Screen! The two meatheads vanish into the locker room just as Quinn rounds a corner to witness the grisly slushie aftermath, and as hints of that gentle piano theme this show whips out whenever tender romance is afoot appear on the soundtrack, Quinn leads Lady Lips into a nearby bathroom to rinse all of that frozen crap out of his asinine coif. Flirting a bit while of course making light of the situation in order to make him feel better, she laughingly confides, "The blueberry flavor is the worst -- especially if it gets down your pants. I looked like a creature out of Avatar down there when I got slushied." "I saw Avatar, like, six times!" Sam smiles, and NERRRRRRD.