"I don't think I can do this," Gaylord frets in the middle of the music room. "It's the perfect song for this very situation," Tina, standing at his side, attempts to assure him, though she doesn't sound too convinced of that herself. And after some more hemming and hawing, Tina takes his hand and smiles, "Trust me, you're gonna be great." That's apparently enough to launch Gaylord into action, and he propels himself into "Sing!" from A Chorus Line. Kurt's surprise at their musical selection matches my own, though I very much doubt his surprise comes from not having heard this number in nearly 30 years, as mine does. In fact, I spent half this routine trying desperately to figure out where the hell it's from. The other half, of course, was spent in a kind of open-mouthed amazement, both at the utter appropriateness of the tune for the characters involved -- which, let's face it, is something this show hasn't been doing a lot of lately -- and at the almost palpable sense of loose-limbed joy bursting from Harry Shum. I might have to stop calling him "Gaylord" after all this. Well, okay, not really, but this is fantastic. The song's roles have been reversed, of course, with Gaylord taking the painfully off-key Kristine bits while Tina covers Al's more mellifluent notes, but it's a hell of a lot more dynamic than the stage version, with Gaylord leaping all around the room, dancing on and over chairs, and spinning himself atop the piano, and it's all so puppies and sunshine and rainbows that I don't know whether to giggle like a little girl or vomit. Bravo, Gaylord. Bravo. Gaylord and Tina's assembled compatriots are equally congratulatory, with the notable exception of Artie, who squirms uncomfortably around in his wheelchair as Tina happily takes this well deserved opportunity to throw some of that smug gloating right back into her crippled ex-boyfriend's face.
Smash to another series of quick cross-cuts, these between Finn and Sam in the weight room and Rachel and Quinn in the ladies'. Finn and Rachel, understanding that their masterful plan for Sam's triumphant introduction to New Directions won't amount for much if Sam doesn't actually, you know, sing, have taken it upon themselves to convince Sam and Quinn to give their partnership another try. Guess what? It works. Next!
Brittany's Boudoir. She's got a Charlie St. Cloud poster on her wall. HA! Unfortunately, that's not the point of this scene. Nope, instead, the point is Artie giving up on rehearsing with Brittany almost before that rehearsing has begun. "I can't do this," he moans. "Why?" she logically -- go figure -- asks. "I thought I was over somebody," he lamely explains, "but I think I still have feelings for them." "The Clintons?" Brittany guesses. Hee. Artie testily corrects her and makes to wheel his huffy way on out of there, but Brittany calls out, "Wait, don't leave! You wanna get over Tina, right?" Artie silently nods his head, so Brittany slinks over to his side, lifts him bodily from his wheelchair, carries him over to her bed, sets him down gently atop her duet, and straddles him, all the while explaining, "You're on the football team now, anyways? So, I'm gonna get around to this at some point?" "Am I about to lose my virginity?" Artie whispers, one tiny part of him still disbelieving, even though the rest of him is totally way stoked. "Before our duet?" Brittany whispers back, all smiles and seduction. "We're gonna do it?" Commercial? Commercial.