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Demian: A- | Grade It Now!
Happy Days Are Here Again

Meanwhile, Finn's harassing Kurt over the latter's transparent attempts to seduce the new kid, because as you'll recall, Kurt placed Finn in a similar uncomfortable situation last year, and Finn doesn't want the same thing to happen to Sam, especially considering the Nationals-winning opportunities Sam represents for the Glee Club. Make a note of that, please: Finn doesn't argue that he wouldn't want Kurt to hurt himself by making the same disastrous mistake twice; he instead argues that Kurt's unwanted attentions will alienate Sam to the detriment of New Directions. So much for Frankenteen being an emotional savant. "If he sings with you," Finn concludes, referring of course to Sam, "I guarantee within a week he'll take so much crap, he'll have to quit Glee Club. Your call, dude." With that, Finn flounces, leaving Kurt alone in the lunch line to look all torn and conflicted and badly dressed and lonely as the opening chords of Elton John's "Don't Go Breaking My Heart" rather anviliciously pop up on the soundtrack, and by the time the violins have kicked in, we've...

...shunted over to the music room, where Rachel, Finn, Tinkles, and about forty-five members of McKinley's orchestra and jazz ensemble have assembled so Finn and Rachel might rehearse their entry in the Glee Club's duets competition, and I'm sorry, but these two dolts shrieking "Wooooo-hoo! Nobody knooooows it!" is like Torquemada himself returning from Hell to shove a pear of anguish into my ear canal and start spinning. Tinkles is so totally done with them as well, if that icily irritated glare he tosses in Rachel's general direction is anything to go by. Granted, she brought it upon herself by mussing with his hair while twirling around the piano, but still. Revel in the hate, Tinkles. And when it's all over, Finn realizes, "We're totally going to win this thing." For some reason, this understanding on his part sends Rachel spinning into a shame spiral, and while Tinkles and the eight or nine dozen student musicians presumably listen in on everything that follows, Rachel sinks into one of the chairs on the risers to announce, "I'm not really a nice person." "NO SHIT," Tinkles and the teeming mass of musically inclined teenagers do not scream in her face, choosing instead to putter around silently in the background as Rachel continues, "I'm selfish -- the fact is, I'm only really generous if there's something in it for me."

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