Glee

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Happy Days Are Here Again

...heads out into the hall, where Karofsky and Azimio (and yes, I had to look up their names) launch slushies at that whopping big bull's eye across Sam's chest. Of course, because their aim sucks, most of it ends up in Sam's face. "Welcome to Glee Club, Lady Lips!" Azimio taunts, and I now have a new nickname for Weenie Von Bieberhausen. Thanks, Guy Who's Name I'll Forget Again As Soon As You're Off The Screen! The two meatheads vanish into the locker room just as Quinn rounds a corner to witness the grisly slushie aftermath, and as hints of that gentle piano theme this show whips out whenever tender romance is afoot appear on the soundtrack, Quinn leads Lady Lips into a nearby bathroom to rinse all of that frozen crap out of his asinine coif. Flirting a bit while of course making light of the situation in order to make him feel better, she laughingly confides, "The blueberry flavor is the worst -- especially if it gets down your pants. I looked like a creature out of Avatar down there when I got slushied." "I saw Avatar, like, six times!" Sam smiles, and NERRRRRRD.

Quinn's own smile quite rightfully falters a bit at that admission, but she smoothly gets things back on track by assuring Sam he'll eventually get used to frigid corn syrup gumming up his eyelids. Sam wonders why Quinn bothers with all of the aggravation, given the fact that she's the head cheerleader. "I like to sing," she explains, dabbing at his face with a washcloth, "and the fact is, those guys were pretty cool to me last year when I wasn't on top." And besides, she concludes, gently brushing his damp bangs with her fingertips, "What's the point of being popular when you can't do what you want?" "I am a tremendous geek entirely unworthy of your romantic attentions," Weenie Von Bieberhausen replies. Well, actually, he tells her -- in Na'vi -- that she has beautiful eyes, so it's pretty much the same thing. Quinn rolls those beautiful eyes of hers around so aggressively at this that I'm afraid her false eyelashes'll pop off.

Das Hummelhaus, later that evening. Kurt's prepared a "heart-healthy vegan carrot soup with whole-grain croutons" for his recuperating father's dinner, and Burt looks about as thrilled with the prospect of putting that taste-free crap into his mouth as you'd expect him to be. Kurt fusses about his father's recent arrhythmia for a bit until Burt finally gets to this scene's point by asking his son how school's been lately. "It's fine," Kurt dramatically sighs before adding an ominous-sounding, "I guess." Burt patiently waits for the first of several high-end fashion pumps to drop. Fortunately, he doesn't have to wait very long, for Kurt soon unleashes a torrent of information regarding Weenie Von Bieberhausen, his proposed duet with same, and Finn's supposedly homophobic opposition to the entire plan. Burt waits until Kurt's finished, then suggests that Finn might have a point.

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Glee

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