Glee
Glee

Episode Report Card
LTG: N/A | 1538 USERS: C
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Merry Wackmas!

Homeless shelter. Some guy plays the piano badly while Sam and Quinn work the serving line with Sue. They're worried that there might not be enough food, what with the hard economic times. Quinn's sweater is so fuzzy it should be wearing a hair net. And then the Glee Club (complete with Will and Emma) enters, carrying with them the food that was cooked for the show. Sam is glad they came, and Finn gives the credit to Rory, who turns around and gives it right back to Sam. I swear to God, the show wants me to have erotic dreams about these two. Artie tells Sue that they also have a song. It was going to wrap up the special, but they ended up getting preempted for ten minutes of the Yule log. And then they sing "Do They Know It's Christmas 1984." You guys, I was 14 when this song came out, and it totally still pulls my adolescent, do-gooder heartstrings. By which I mean to say, I'm in the bag for this song, despite the stupid lyrics. (I mean, yes, they know it's Christmas -- they're lacking food, not calendars. Also, there won't be snow in Africa this Christmastime. There's never snow in Africa at Christmastime. It's Africa.) But as much as I love it, this performance is so offensive. It's one thing to sing this to a bunch of well-off people to remind them that other people don't have it so well, and to guild the well-off into getting off their asses to do something. That's why I don't mind the line, "Tonight thank God it's them instead of you." But you can't sing this song to people whose plight you're trying to call attention to. That basically changes the meaning of the lyric to "tonight I thank God it's you instead of me." Which is really crappy thing to say. Also, you can't sing this song with big sappy smiles on your face. Jerks. So at the end of the song, the assembled homeless rise up and tear their oppressors limb from limb. I guess that's the end of Glee.

Unfortunately, not only do the homeless not kill them, there are still more scenes to go. But only after some ads.

Hallway. So, that didn't all happen the Friday night before Christmas? Which means that in addition to being homeless, these poor people are forced to eat their Christmas dinner over week before Christmas? Anyway, Finn and Rachel find each other in the hallway. Rachel tells Finn that she named her pig. The pig is named Barbra. She has her own Tumblr. Anyway, Rachel tells Finn, "I just hope the pig Barbra inspires all the kids who eat her just as much as the real Barbra inspires me." You guys, I think Rachel has Barbra Streisand chained up in her basement, and she's eating her a piece at a time. Rachel apologizes, and then Finn gives her a different present. He had a star named. But not after her, since she's already a star. It's named after him. I think Finn is regifting something an uncle gave him. Oh, and Finn sold his letter jacket and bought Rachel some diamond earrings. Or maybe they're diamondique. In a goldique setting. Rachel is all verklempt, and decides she needs to give back.

Glee

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