Like most scripted television, episodes of Glee can generally be understood to fall somewhere on a spectrum that runs from "good" to "bad." Or "serious" to "cheesy." Or "sincere" to "ironic." But I think this episode is on some kind of spectrum we've never seen before. A spectrum that's not normally detectable by human senses. A spectrum that's probably only really understood by theoretical physicists. Or devotees of psychedelic mushrooms. I mean, it doesn't make sense in the Glee universe, and it certainly doesn't make sense in our universe. Which isn't to say there aren't some moments of pure delight, along with some moments of embarrassing failure. But mostly, I watched this episode with my jaw on the floor, hoping that someone was aware I was having a seizure and that the paramedics were on their way.
Also, my cat somehow managed to damage the 'u' key on my keyboard. I think he's mad 'cause I kept calling him a pussy.
We open straight on some music. Mercedes is singing Mariah Carey's "All I Want for Christmas Is You" while she hangs ornaments on a Christmas tree in the music room. Everybody else is there, and they all start dancing around with candy canes and wrapping paper. All you Mercedes/Sam shippers out there will be happy to hear that at one point she wraps a garland boa around his neck and sings the title lyrics to him. That should certainly make Demian happy. The song ends with Rachel and Finn kissing under the mistletoe (thoughtfully provided by Mercedes), and we cut to the title card.
Hallway. Rachel cheerfully approaches Finn and tells him, "Here's my list!" Finn: "I thought we agreed the 'things we did wrong last week' list was hurting more than helping." Rachel tells him she made him a Christmas list because she heard he was having trouble figuring out what to get her.
Flash back to the boys' locker room, where Finn is telling everybody present that he can't figure out what to get Rachel for Christmas. Everybody makes moronic suggestions, while Puck just tells them he's glad he's Jewish so he doesn't have this problem. Or maybe he points out that Rachel is Jewish, so Finn should be worrying more about Hanukkah and less about Christmas. Or maybe what he really does is tell them he's glad he doesn't have a high-maintenance girlfriend. Whichever one is least connected to the established facts of the show, go with that one. And then we see Kurt peek around the corner, clearly having heard the entire thing.