Auditorium. Jesse St. James arrives on the stage for a secret assignation with Rachel, who frets that he's come with bad news about the auditions. He assures her he hasn't, and in fact gives her the good news long before Mr. Schue posts the official results on the board: She's in. She squeals with excitement and leaps up into his arms for a hug just as Frankenteen lumbers in through one of the far doors, and Rachel and Jesse kiss while Finn and his lonely tulip stand there in the dark, all slackjawed and forlorn. Sucks to be you, jackass!

Rachel and Jesse arrive at the bulletin board to find Santana, Mercedes, and Kurt fuming in front of the notice Mr. Schue ended up posting, which reads "URGENT MEETING TODAY. CHOIR ROOM 3:30." Rachel gulps, and with that we skitter over to...

...the music room, where Mr. Schue arrives to inform the assembled children that he's changed his mind: For Nationals, they will be singing original songs performed by the entire group. "You're going to lose!" Jesse St. James darkly warns, but Mr. Schue doesn't care, because he's an idiot. And as most of the children descend from the cheap seats to retrieve the rhyming dictionaries they'll be using to compose, arrange, orchestrate, costume, choreograph, rehearse, and perfect those two new songs they're to write on their direct AMERICAN AIRLINES! flight from Allen County Regional Airport to JFK, Finn hangs back to offer Quinn a too-casual, "Hey!" He then goes on to thank her for not bailing from Glee Club, even though I wasn't aware she had any plans to do so. "If I quit Glee Club," Quinn smiles at him, "my big plans for New York would have been ruined." Finn, along with everyone in the audience who's still awake at this point: "What plans?" "You'll see," Quinn cryptically replies, and with that, she vanishes into this evening's final blackout.

Oh, my GOD, the last fifteen minutes of this episode took forever. Anyway, next week: Season finale! Will they win? Can you even bring yourself to care at this point? Tune in next Tuesday to find out!

Demian flies United. You may contact him at demian_twop@yahoo.com.