And when it's all over, Quinn and Finn meet up in the front seat of his pickup truck out in the parking lot, where he proceeds to break up with her. AGAIN. Do I need to specify why he's breaking up with her this time around? Didn't think so. Also: Commercials.
We return to a shaky, hand-held, extreme close-up of Jesse St. James's face, and as Brit-Brit's off-screen voice calls out, "Action!" Jesse launches himself into the following: "Well, it was a tough competition, but here's the dope: Santana? Too mean. Kurt? Too controversial. Mercedes? I said it twice, and I'll say it again -- lazy B-O-N-E-S! Rachel is the clear winner!" Mr. Schue interrupts all the fun to opine that their audition-related conversations probably shouldn't be taped, and after he forces Brittany to shut off her camera, she invites Jesse over to her place for a special edition of Fondue For Two in which Jesse judges Her Pussy. "Rock and roll!" Jesse replies. Dirty! Dreary Mr. Schue once again interrupts all the fun to express his discomfort with the entire process, glooming, "It feels like I'm telling one of my children they're my favorite." "That's what my parents told me," Jesse shrugs, adding, "in front of my siblings!" "Sure," he graciously allows, "some might say it led to my brother's whippits addiction and my sister's bulimia, but my parents owed them the truth." And we have another point for Mr. St. James. Maybe two. Mr. Schue takes a beat, then moves in close to Jesse to ask, "You really think picking Rachel means we beat Vocal Adrenaline?" "It's in the bag," Jesse promises, with a dangerous twinkle in his eye.
Lair Of The Sue. Becky enters to surrender her pom-poms as previously ordered, but Sue's had a change of heart thanks to the treacly ballad the children busted out to ruin her sister's funeral, and not only does Sue immediately reinstate Becky to The Cheerios, she promises Becky the position of captain on next year's squad. They hug, and it's meant to be deeply moving, but all I can think is, "No, Sue! NO! Don't touch the children!" And then I remember I'm yelling at a character who's long gotten away with slamming children into lockers when she's not pelting their hair with sticks, and so I shut up, because Sue Sylvester can do whatever the hell Sue Sylvester wants to do.
Teachers' Lounge. Sue enters and takes a seat at Will's table to wish him good luck at Nationals. And she's actually sincere about it, because of that whole change-of-heart thing she's experienced thanks to the treacly ballad the children busted out to ruin her sister's funeral. There is one amusing bit wherein Sue admits, "I do this thing where I sort of alternate which one of those kids I hate the most -- right now, it's the dancing Asian." Unfortunately, aside from that, most of the rest of their time together is spent having Sue praise Will for his good heart, or something, and vow once again to leave the Glee Club alone. She does announce her plans to run for The United States House Of Representatives, though, so that's nice. She's infuriated with the out-of-control cost of health care in this country, you see, and she intends use her position as the first duly elected official from The Sue Sylvester American Liberty Party to rectify that situation. And so, all would be well were it not for one little snag that's still pending: That rerouted Nationals flight to Libya from the top of the hour. Fortunately, Crazy Terri appears at the Lounge door to handle that, so Sue leaves them to it, and we meander out into the...