Glee

Episode Report Card
Demian: B- | 2011 USERS: C+
YOU GRADE IT
You Ain't Got No Kind of Feeling Inside

Previously on Pee-Wee's Playhouse: "Theatrical." Also, Jesse St. James took his mackable hair and his dangerous eyebrows and "left the Glee Club" off screen at some point during the last two weeks during a scene that apparently was left on the virtual cutting-room floor, which: 1. WHAT THE HELL? and 2. WHATEVER! and 3. I will shut my outraged mouth and accept this insulting bit of Major Plot Point Revealed During Casual Aside In The Previously Sequence as fact lest my brain explode long before we hit the episode proper.

School. Flanked by Kurt and Mercedes, Single-T Tina wheels Artie through the swarming halls as the quartet gabs about New Directions' vastly improved chances at Regionals now that "The Ohio Show Choir chat rooms" have decided Vocal Adrenaline's "lost a step." Kurt, who apparently missed certain vital bits of information during the Previouslies, gloats, "The judges know all their tricks, and now that we have Jesse, they've lost their best performer!" Cue Rachel, who darts in from points unknown at DEFCON 1 to blurt, "You guys have to come to the auditorium! It's an emergency!"

Cut to the auditorium, where the now heavily pregnant Quinn's cooling her sure-to-be-aching heels with Santana Lopez, Brit-Brit, the Puckasaurus, Gaylord, Finn, and Butt Lunch, and I swear to God, Quinn's fetus has gained thirty pounds in the last seven days. That kid is going to be a monster. I hope she opts for lots and lots of drugs. And a C-section. And then some more drugs. To hell with natural childbirth. In any event, the hallway gang arrives to join the Glee Clubbers already present, and their collective attention is immediately drawn to the stage, where Jesse St. James emerges from a black-and-blue clot of Vocal Adrenalines to announce, "I've transferred back to Carmel High." So, if he's telling everyone this now, why did Mister Wacky-Voice Of The Generally Unnecessary And Misleading Glee Previouslies feel the need to include that bit of information in his dizzy monologue at the top of the hour? I can't begin to pretend to care, so let's keep this moving. "I'm sorry that it's come to this," Jesse St. James continues, "but you guys were awful to me -- you never accepted me, and you never listened to my clearly superior ideas." Frankenteen lumbers forward from his slouch against the upper tier of seats to wonder why Vocal Adrenaline's chosen to invade McKinley High's performance space. "The blogs and chat rooms say that we're finished and that you guys are ripe to topple us," Jesse St. James offers rather snidely by way of explanation. "We just wanted to show you something we came up with a few days ago to see if you agree with that assessment."

Glee

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