McKinley High, the following morning. Will enters the main hallway to find a disturbingly disheveled Santana Lopez weeping copiously into a box of Kleenex she cradles in her arms as if it were some precious talisman protecting her against the inexplicable onrush of existential blackness now threatening to swallow her world whole. Or something like that. Several other similarly disheveled Cheerios carom off the lockers before vanishing into the blurry distance until Will corners Kurt to wonder what gives. "Coach Sylvester won't get out of bed," Kurt replies, indicating that Sue's also cancelled McKinley's participation in Nationals that weekend. Dun-dun-DUN! Kurt's fine, of course, because he's got Glee Club to fall back on, but his fellow Cheerios have, as he puts it, "sort of lost it." Four of the ladies might forfeit the athletic scholarships they were depending upon for college -- just go with it -- and "the rest are just depressed and confused." To prove Kurt's point, Brittany appears at this juncture, tugging desperately on Jewfro's arm while pleading, "Please love me! Please?" Heh. Kurt finishes up by noting that while Sue Sylvester might not need another championship trophy, plenty of her protégés do.

Music Room. Remember how I warned you about an embarrassing early-'90s-inspired debacle scheduled to arrive later tonight? It's here. Puck and Finn, with a crucial assist from Mercedes, offer the rest of the group their trenchant interpretation of Marky Mark's deathless classic "Good Vibrations," and what you need to know about it is this: Brittany's got her cheerleading uniform on backwards. HA!

And when it's over, Mr. Schue notes as gently as he possibly can that there is no way in hell Marky Frigging Mark represents the musical genre from which this episode has received its title. Eventually, everyone involved in the horror looks suitably ashamed, Artie Eeyores something unimportant, and we head over to...

...some random study hall, where Quinn appears to have the entire place to herself. Mercedes enters, plants herself opposite the knocked-up princess, and invites Quinn to move into Stately Jones Manor until her alarmingly large fetus is no longer enwombed because "us sisters got to stick together." And that's...one to grow on! Next!