In any event, this itinerary discussion is simply a pretext for Finn to bring up his real concern, which is that he appear leader-like at his mother's wedding. No, I don't understand it, either, but I suppose that doesn't matter, because Kurt apparently does, and he already has the perfect solution for Finn's dilemma: "A lovely mother-and-son dance in front of everyone." "That's a terrible idea!" Finn protests. "Everybody knows I'm the worst dancer." Not with Lady Lips in the cast, you aren't, but that's beside the point, for Finn's protestations exist simply to set up a scene later in the episode, so let's listen in as Kurt asserts, "Trust me on this -- I have been planning weddings since I was two. My Power Rangers got married and divorced in so many combinations, they were like Fleetwood Mac." "I guess if I could pull it off," Finn supposes, "it would make me seem like a cool stud!" And that's not a creepy or disgusting sentiment at all! Finn thanks Kurt for the latter's brilliant plan, and he dolts off just as Karofsky arrives to kick-start this evening's fourth primary storyline, which is of course Saint Kurt's ongoing martyrdom at the hands of a closet case. With barely a word, Karofsky drives Kurt backwards into the lockers by drilling a thick finger into Kurt's chest, and then he steals Burt and Carole's cake topper. That was underwhelming.
Unfortunately, Mr. Schue disagrees with me, and he motors on over to Kurt's side to make a federal case out of the whole thing. In this, he is greatly assisted by Kurt's histrionic reaction to Karofsky's vicious pokery, and they waste no time in dragging us over to The Maharishi's once and future office, where Principal Sue asks, "Did he physically hurt you?" Kurt's forced to admit that Karofsky did not. "You said he shoved you into the lockers before," Mr. Schue interjects, trying to be helpful, but Principal Sue notes, "I can't expel a kid just for shoving -- he'll say, 'I didn't mean to shove that kid, I tripped!' That excuse works like a charm. I use it all the time." Heh. Kurt cuts through Principal Sue's delicious insanity to claim that Karofsky "terrified" him, but that's not grounds for expulsion, either. "Lady," Principal Sue begins, addressing Kurt with her usual nickname for him, "I can't suspend a student because he scares you." "High school is a dry run for the rest of your life," she observes, and as such, "it can be rough -- people can be mean." Mr. Schue is outraged. "That's your advice?" he eyebrows. "That's all you have to say?"