Episode Report Card
Demian: D | 2 USERS: B-
The Tribulation Of Saint Kurt

Nursing home. The Sylvester ladies have assembled in the home's common room for Sue's wedding rehearsal, apparently, and as Jean carefully places a Sue-appropriate topper on the cake -- it's two Sues, in tracksuits -- Doris smarms something about how wonderful it is to spend quality time with her girls. Jean shoots back something sharp about how Doris repeatedly abandoned her children, but all of this amounts to little more than a prelude for Sue's grand entrance in a slimming blue tracksuit-inspired gown, complete with a couple of cunning sets of racing stripes down the sleeves. It's meant to be hilarious, of course, but I feel so beaten down by this episode at this point that I'm barely able to muster a smirk at the thing. "What in the G.D. hell?" Doris mutters as Sue parades regally onto the center of the carpet. Yes, Doris. Exactly. "This is insane!" she sighs while Sue runs through her vows with herself. See above. And when Sue reaches the part of the ceremony where she tells herself to kiss herself, Doris leaps from her armchair to decry the "bizarre" proceedings, and long story short, Sue angrily points out that her mother always has been and always will be a bully right before she disinvites Doris from the wedding. "What about my song?" Doris snits. "You are welcome to sing 'The Sound Of Silence' in your hotel room, right now," Sue ices. Doris offers a few parting shots as she makes her way out the door, but neither Sue nor Jean seem to care, and to be honest with you, neither do I.

McKinley hallway. Quinn meets up with Sam at his locker, and she's wearing his promise ring. And that's it, apparently. Why'd they even bother trying to shoehorn this subplot into this episode?

The Once And Future Lair Of The Maharishi. "This is absolutely unacceptable," Carole insists. Burt, seated nearby, complains, "This psycho threatens my kid's life, and some school board -- made up of people I've never met -- tells me there's nothing they can do about it?" "Oh, they could do something about it," Principal Sue assures him, "they just decided not to." Evidently, Paul Karofsky appealed his son's expulsion to the Lima school board, and as no one stepped forward to testify that they witnessed Dave manhandling Kurt, and as Kurt's report of the supposed death threat amounts to little more than a case of he said/he said, the school board president had no choice but to reinstate Karofsky fils with a warning for the latter to keep his nose clean, lest he risk expulsion again. Kurt shrills that he can't go back to the way things were before, all of a day or so ago, and Sue agrees that the position he finds himself in is unacceptable. For that reason, she is resigning as principal effective immediately, so she can get out from behind a desk and act as another pair of eyes in the mean, hard hallways of McKinley High to prevent any future incidents of bullying from occurring. Unless, of course, she herself is the instigator of said incidents. I'm guessing.

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