Girls (And Boys) On Film

Episode Report Card
Demian: B+ | 8 USERS: B+
"We Have A Slight Coppery Odor"

And when it's over, Emma leans out her bedroom window to giggle, "Will, are you crazy?" "Crazy for you," he replies like the tremendous and nearly insufferable dork he truly is before adding, "but that's Vision Quest, and Matthew Modine skipping rope isn't nearly as romantic as John Cusack holding a boombox." Yeah, but Matthew Modine at his worst in that movie was still way hotter than John Cusack has ever been in his life, so roll it up tight and cram it, Will.

He ignores me, because he always ignores me, and he instead calls out for Emma to come downstairs so he might pitch a little more woo. And after he awkwardly tells the kids to scram, Emma does just that, and wow this is dull. Show of hands: Who actually cares about the state of their relationship at this point? Anyone? Anyone? Yeah, didn't think so.

So, basically, Will and Emma agree to start all over again at the beginning -- again, some more -- because God knows we haven't had enough of their tiresome Issues at this point, and once that's over and done with, we head into this evening's next commercial break. Joy. Emma's coat is adorable, though, so I guess the scene wasn't a complete waste.

My Ancestral Homeland. Santana Lopez returns to The Improbably Bohemian Loft to find Old Idiot Rachel curled up on the sofa, alone, and waits not one second before announcing, "New York may be disgusting -- especially when it's covered in grey, nasty snow -- and the people may be horrible and rude, and some smelly homeless man in pee-stained tighty-whiteys might have groped me on the subway and then asked me for a dollar, but I gots to say, I finally feel like I found my people!" Hey! I think I ran into that guy on the Lexington Avenue express once. Small world.

The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway snarkily congratulates Santana on "finding [her] corner of the sky," so Santana retaliates by wondering if "Pablo Escobar" ever came home after the blizzard. Old Idiot Rachel sniffily replies that her filthy whore of a boyfriend is in the shower, thank you very much, but that only leaves her open for this bit of beauty from her new roommate: "Where he will be for the next hour, scrubbing the drug shame off of his frictionless body." Hee. The two bicker a bit more over Rachel's beloved before Santana leans in and says, "Okay, look: Now that we're alone, I want to talk to you about what I found in your bathroom trashcan."

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