Once that's over with, Idiot Rachel asks Dean Geyer if he'd be so kind as to help her run lines, and barely has he agreed to do so when Drunk Kate Hudson reels on up to them to slur that Idiot Rachel's "not tough enough yet" to withstand the devastating demands Rachel's would-be director "Ivan" tends to place upon his actors, and I have no idea how Drunk Kate Hudson managed to overhear their whispered conversation, but again: Whatever. The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway foolishly insists she's got what it takes, then even more foolishly suggests Drunk Kate Hudson audition for Amanda -- you know, so Drunk Kate Hudson might "maybe get back in the game." I suppose Idiot Rachel's honestly trying to be friendly and helpful with that, but seriously: Thirtysomething Kate Hudson as sixtysomething Amanda Wingfield? Bitch, please. Drunk Kate Hudson -- clearly and rightfully insulted -- fixes a far-too-bright smile on her face at that, hollers for everyone present to take five, and teeters over to Dean Geyer to set her instantly-concocted plan for revenge in motion by convincing him to become her new T.A. "Could we start on Monday?" he asks, noting he's already promised his weekend to Idiot Rachel. "Yeah!" Drunk Kate Hudson cheerily agrees, though that hard glint in her eyes promises violence, so I suppose Idiot Rachel is fucked. Again.
April Rhodes Civic Pavilion. We enter to find Boring New Rachel, Sugar Motta, and Brit-Brit in the middle of their costume fittings with that poor, put-upon drudge Single-T Tina, and of course, there's a problem: Boring New Rachel can no longer squeeze into her wasp-waisted poodle skirt. "This fit yesterday!" Boring New Rachel pouts. "Maybe it's stress-bloating," Single-T Tina suggests, and no, it's not, because it's actually part of a nefarious plot hatched by Hateful New Quinn to send Boring New Rachel whirling into a shame spiral that ends with Boring New Rachel face-down in the toilet, yakking up chunky little pieces of her digestive tract in a desperate and futile attempt to drop another two or three pounds, as we learn once Hateful New Quinn arrives on the scene to smear us sideways into a flashback of Hateful New Quinn secretly altering the waistband on Boring New Rachel's skirt. Yawn. Because Boring New Rachel is a complete fucking moron, she totally believes Hateful New Quinn when the latter states that Boring New Rachel's "metabolism is grinding to a halt" due to all of those disgusting fat-pig genes Boring New Rachel inherited from her mother, and then, after blatantly insulting everyone present, Hateful New Quinn invites them all to a sleepover at her house -- including "Silence Of The Lambs" "ladyboy" Not-So-Unique. Because everyone present is also a complete fucking moron, they eagerly accept. I want every single one of these dipshits dead.