Cut to Christmas Day dinner at BreadstiX, with the awkwardness already in progress. New Puck's mom is being played by Aisha Tyler, by the way, whom I pretty much fell in love with back when she was hosting Talk Soup, so I am thoroughly on board with this particular casting decision. Not that you care, but there you go.
In any event, The Puckermoms silently side-eye each other while sucking down various smart cocktails until Old Puckermom finally ingests enough courage to snarl, "I saw you once, you know -- I came into that diner you were working at after he told me about you, and you waited on me, acting like you had no idea who I was." "He never told me he was married!" New Puckermom shoots back, rolling her eyes. "Is that how you make yourself feel better?" Old Puckermom spits, and the two Puckerladies are about to throw down right there in the middle of BreadstiX when Old Puck -- who seriously looks older than Aisha Tyler in this scene -- intervenes to remind The Puckermoms that Evil Michael Mancini bailed on both of them. "All of us," New Puck corrects before arguing, quite simply and quite sincerely, "We're a family -- a pretty messed-up one, but still a family." There's a silent beat in which everyone glances at everybody else until Old Puckermom's brittle façade finally cracks, and she admits, "Your father really was an [asshole]." "An epic [asshole]," New Puckermom agrees, reaching for another glass of wine. Atta girl. Generalized giggling ensues until Old Puck proposes a toast: "To new traditions, and to an epic [asshole] who did one thing right -- he brought us together." Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww! The Puckerpeople clink glasses, and this heartwarming scene ends with Old Puck wishing New Puck a "Merry Hanukkah, dude!" "Right back atcha, bro!" New Puck twinkles, and with that, we head into this evening's next commercial break.
Goddamn. This episode feels like it's been airing for the last five frigging years already.
Hallowed Halls Of Dear McKinley High. Once again, we've backtracked on the timeline for reasons which shall soon become apparent. Brittany, sporting a jaunty little Santa hat and toting a large sack full of presents, rounds the far corner and bounces on up to Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel. "Hi, Marley!" Brit-Brit beams, pushing a present into Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel's clammy mitts. "Here's a Rolex -- Merry Christmas!" Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel gapes. Shut up, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel. By the way, the Rolex website discreetly declines to quote prices for its products -- the sordid topic of coin, and all that -- but the timepiece Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel's now holding in her dumb little hands is worth at least $25,000. Keep that in mind when we hit this evening's next segment.