Anywho, the chipper Brit-Brit next accosts New Finn, presenting him with "a three-week vacation to Saint-Tropez" before breezing further down the hall to give Single-T Tina the keys to a 2013 Toyota Camry. "What are you doing?" Single-T Tina squints, and here we go: "Well," Brit-Brit explains, "last week I decided to watch a documentary about The Mayan Apocalypse, which arrives on December 21st, 2012, so I decided to cash in all my savings so my friends and I can enjoy what's left of our lives to the fullest!" Makes sense to me.

It also makes sense to Brittany's newest paramour, Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen, who excitedly drags Brit-Brit into a nearby vacant classroom to present her with the following facts: "Two thousand twelve is the year that Kim Il-sung, founder of North Korea, would have turned a hundred. Divide a hundred by ten -- the percentage of Americans that think the world will end on the 21st of December -- and you get ten: Mexico's rank in the world as a tourist destination -- whose president expects The Mayan Apocalypse to attract fifty-two million people to his country!" "It's all right there!" Lady Lips insists, adding, "All anyone has to do is look at the numbers!" Consider Brittany's mind officially blown, y'all. "I'm terrified," she breathes. Lady Lips admits to just a tiny hint of fear himself, but points out that they must "purify" themselves before the next baktun begins. "We need to tell everyone we know how we really feel about them," dear little Brit-Brit quite earnestly decides. And so, the bleach-blond Wonder Twins zip up to...

...the school library, where they welcome New Puck, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel, New Finn, Single-T Tina, and Guy With Gross Hair Whose Name I Still Can't Be Bothered To Look Up to, as Brittany puts it, "the first meeting of The 2012 Mayan Apocalypse Club." "It's also the last meeting," Lady Lips helpfully notes. Single-T Tina shoots him A Look before refocusing her attention on Brit-Brit, the latter of whom states, "Because we're all so close, [Lady Lips] and I wanted to bring you here so we could finally tell you our true feelings about you." At that, Brit-Brit turns to Single-T Tina to offer her the following from a place of love and acceptance: "Acting is a pipe dream for you, and your decision to pursue it as a career is both irresponsible and shocking." Hee. Next, Brittany addresses Guy With Gross Hair Whose Name I Still Can't Be Bothered To Look Up like so: "You haven't really made much of an impression on me and I don't really know what your deal is." That makes two of us. "This is the worst club ever," New Finn protests. "We're not just gonna sit here and let you insult us," Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel agrees, rising to leave. "I wasn't going to insult you!" Brittany calls out after her. "All I wanted to tell you is I think you're delightful!" She had me, and then she lost me. "You can't leave yet!" Lady Lips cries. "You're gonna miss the best part!" But alas! The others have already disappeared into the hallway, leaving Lady Lips alone with Brit-Brit to pout, "I can't believe how naive they are." "I know," Brit-Brit sighs, adding, "Some people just can't face the cold hard fact that this earth is really just the back of a giant crocodile that's destroyed and recreated every five hundred years." "At least we have each other," Lady Lips notes, "and since the world is gonna end before Christmas...."