Glee
Glee, Actually

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Demian: A- | 1 USERS: A+
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Batshit, Actually

Hallowed Halls Of Dear McKinley High. We've backtracked a couple of weeks from the timeline of the previous segment, by the way, the better to allow most of what follows to transpire during Hanukkah, and the action opens with New Puck getting into yet another ridiculous fight with his nemeses on the football team. This time around, however, it's Old Puck who comes running to his rescue because, as we presently learn, he's back in town "scoping out some chicks, doing a little research" for his -- wait for it -- screenplay. "You're a screenwriter now?" New Puck eyebrows, as skeptical of this development as everyone in the audience. "In L.A.," Old Puck explains, "you're nobody unless you're in the movie business." "I'm almost done with my first script," he adds, all nonchalant. "It's sci-fi, but it has a high school element." "That sounds really cool, actually," New Puck enthuses, and no, New Puck, it doesn't. It really, really doesn't. Anyway, Old Puck goes on to admit he also came back to check on New Puck, as he's been worried about the kid lately for whatever reason, and he invites New Puck out to California to celebrate the holiday in true Puckerman style. "All you need is some cash for gas and burritos," Old Puck notes, adding, "My hog has a sweet sidecar." New Puck's all, "You expect me to ride all the way out to the West Coast in a frigging sidecar?" and Old Puck's all, "Yep!" so of course the next thing we know...

...The Pucks are pulling up to that famous gate in front of Paramount Studios in Los Angeles, with New Puck scrunched into the rickety-looking sidecar attached to Old Puck's motorcycle. It's awfully cute, actually, but that's really neither here nor there at the moment, as Old Puck's managed to secure a pass for the two of them thanks to his adept handling of "the sweater puppies of one of the assistants of one of the guys who produces one of the NCISes," and he intends to show his little bro a good time while they're on the backlot. Well, actually, he intends to deploy his little bro as a singing partner in order to snag some attention for himself and his supposedly burgeoning film career, but New Puck apparently doesn't realize this, because New Puck's apparently an idiot.

Old Puck swipes a couple of handy guitars that have been left most fortuitously unattended, and within seconds, The Two Pucks are serenading the various shady denizens of Paramount Studios with their rendition of this Hanukkah classic, and it is absolutely asinine. Fun, sure, but asinine nevertheless. At one point, the two are mobbed by a crowd of studio executives and extras -- the latter dressed, of course, as showgirls, nuns, angels, aliens and mobsters -- who proceed to dance a riotous Hora around the boys in the middle of the lot's noted New York Street, until The Pucks eventually shimmy their collective way back through the gate and into a tattoo parlor, where the boys get celebratory Stars Of David inked onto their shoulders to commemorate their little cross-country adventure. Ooops. Then again: Moo shu pork on Simchat Torah. I'm thinking the ban on tattoos isn't really high on either Puck's list of priorities.

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Glee

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