And when it's over, The Pucks retire to Old Puck's palatial mansion to sun themselves by the pool. Of course, Old Puck doesn't actually live there, as New Puck discovers when the home's real owner returns unexpectedly from a trip to Hawaii to kick both of the boys off her property. "Dude," New Puck dudes, deeply disappointed, "why did you lie to me?" "I didn't think you'd be impressed by my apartment in The Valley filled with Ikea furniture I never figured out how to put together," Old Puck replies, and he's probably got a point, there. Old Puck admits he's a "lonely" "mess" out in California, and bemoans the fact that "it's impossible to meet people 'cause you spend the whole day in your car." New Puck takes pity on his loser of an older half-brother, and invites him back to celebrate what's left of the holiday in Ohio. "If I go back, my mom's gonna make me go to BreadstiX for dinner on Christmas Day," Old Puck warns. "Cool!" New Puck unexpectedly replies. "I'll go, too, and I'll invite my mom!" Awkward!
Cut to Christmas Day dinner at BreadstiX, with the awkwardness already in progress. New Puck's mom is being played by Aisha Tyler, by the way, whom I pretty much fell in love with back when she was hosting Talk Soup, so I am thoroughly on board with this particular casting decision. Not that you care, but there you go.
In any event, The Puckermoms silently side-eye each other while sucking down various smart cocktails until Old Puckermom finally ingests enough courage to snarl, "I saw you once, you know -- I came into that diner you were working at after he told me about you, and you waited on me, acting like you had no idea who I was." "He never told me he was married!" New Puckermom shoots back, rolling her eyes. "Is that how you make yourself feel better?" Old Puckermom spits, and the two Puckerladies are about to throw down right there in the middle of BreadstiX when Old Puck -- who seriously looks older than Aisha Tyler in this scene -- intervenes to remind The Puckermoms that Evil Michael Mancini bailed on both of them. "All of us," New Puck corrects before arguing, quite simply and quite sincerely, "We're a family -- a pretty messed-up one, but still a family." There's a silent beat in which everyone glances at everybody else until Old Puckermom's brittle façade finally cracks, and she admits, "Your father really was an [asshole]." "An epic [asshole]," New Puckermom agrees, reaching for another glass of wine. Atta girl. Generalized giggling ensues until Old Puck proposes a toast: "To new traditions, and to an epic [asshole] who did one thing right -- he brought us together." Awwwwwwwwwwwwwww! The Puckerpeople clink glasses, and this heartwarming scene ends with Old Puck wishing New Puck a "Merry Hanukkah, dude!" "Right back atcha, bro!" New Puck twinkles, and with that, we head into this evening's next commercial break.