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Holy Mary, Mother of Gouda!

Emma's office. Finn is there: "I have to confess something. I'm the reason Sam got hurt." And then he explains about the Grilled Cheesus and all of his wishes that came true. And then Emma straightens him out on his delusions, telling him that they won the football game because now they have a coach who spends the time watching the game rather than biting his toenails. And that God didn't let Finn touch Rachel's boob -- that was all Rachel's doing. And, upon further discussion, she realizes it was because he actually listened to Rachel and gave her something she asked for. She tells him that the reason Sam was injured was because he got slammed by a 300-pound tackle who's on steroids. Emma: "God works in all kinds of mysterious ways. But I'm pretty sure he doesn't spend a lot of time trying to speak to us through sandwiches." Emma has clearly never been to Geoff's Superlative Sandwiches on Benefit Street in Providence. Because their sandwiches are a religious experience. Finn's disappointed -- his direct line to God has been taken away. "Now I just feel like everyone else. Like we're all just floating around in space. I don't like that." Emma, who really is a great guidance counselor, tells him that everybody struggles with these kinds of questions, so he shouldn't feel alone.

But her guidance isn't enough to keep Finn from launching into R.E.M.'s "Losing My Religion." And yes, we all know that it's actually a song about unrequited love. But you can't possibly expect Finn to pick up on those kinds of subtleties. If you're working with his brain, a song that has the words "losing my religion" in it pretty much has to be about losing your religion. Although part of it almost appears to be about unrequited love in reverse, as he spies on Kurt sitting and crying in the library. But mostly, he just strides around the hallways. And then ends up singing the song in the music room. After he finishes, some of the other kids are upset, because they thought they weren't supposed to sing songs about religion. And I'm not dignifying that with a comment. Will asks Finn what the song meant to him. Finn: "I used to think God was up there looking over me. Now I'm not so sure." Actually, Finn, I think you thought God was in the refrigerator looking over you.

Black people church. Kurt, wearing a fabulous black velvet hat, walks in with Mercedes. She leads him to a bench (and he awkwardly tries to genuflect before sitting down, which is just very thoughtful, if not particularly smart), and then she leaves him there because she has to go sing with the choir. Apparently, it's a kind of informal church, because Mercedes just kind of shushes everyone up by saying "Hi, Church!" Oh, look, there's another white guy. Mercedes asks everyone to put their own troubles aside and focus their prayers on Kurt's dad, it would mean a lot to her. She speaks directly to him from the front of the church: "I know you don't believe in God, you don't believe in the power of prayer, and that's okay. To each his own. But you've gotta believe in something, something more than you can touch, taste, or see. 'Cause life is too hard to go through it alone, without something to hold on to, and without something that's sacred." Like, maybe, Friday night dinner. Although Friday night dinner is something you should be able to touch, taste and see. Unless you're being served some kind of vapor. But that would probably mean you're eating in some incredibly expensive restaurant in Barcelona. Which seems unlikely. Mercedes and her choir sing a very churchy arrangement of Simon and Garfunkel's "Bridge Over Troubled Water." And just like I think it was sweet that Kurt tried to genuflect, it's sweet that Mercedes picked a non-religious song to sing to him. As the song goes on, the entire congregation gets into it. The woman sitting next to Kurt takes his hand and helps him stand with everyone else. And then Kurt gets an approving glance from a church lady wearing the exact same hat. Commercials.

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