After last week's exceptionally eventful installment, not very much of actual importance happens this time around: Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen confesses he's known of Dreamboat Blaine's awkward crush on him since the beginning of the school year, and he's totally cool with it, so no big deal; Santana Lopez moves back into The Improbably Bohemian Loft with very little explanation, and eventually informs Old Idiot Rachel of Dean Geyer's sordid extracurricular activities; and The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway has a snot-streaked confrontation with her filthy whore of a boyfriend that ends with the two of them breaking up, supposedly for good.
The rest of the evening is spent exploring the children's titular guilty pleasures in both words and song -- primarily in song, of course -- but as you'd likely find it impossible to tell anyone what these secret shames say about them as characters, it'd probably be for the best if you just shut your brain down for an hour and enjoy what you can of the musical numbers.
Featuring "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" by Wham!, featuring Dreamboat Blaine and Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen as George Michael and Andrew Ridgeley; Barry Manilow's "Copacabana," as performed by Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen; "Against All Odds" from Phil Collins, as performed by Dreamboat Blaine; The Spice Girls' "Wannabe," as performed by Not-So-Unique, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel, Pretty Kitty, Single-T Tina, and Brit-Brit; "My Prerogative" from infamous cokehead Bobby Brown, as performed by New Puck; "Creep" by Radiohead, as performed by Old Idiot Rachel and her filthy whore of an ex-boyfriend; and ABBA's "Mamma Mia," as performed by just about everyone, with the most prominent solo going to The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway.
Hallowed Halls Of Dear McKinley High. As Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen slams shut his locker, Dreamboat Blaine -- in full Cheerios drag, of course -- flashes an impressive wad of cash and near-whispers, "Here, and you don't have to thank me." "Dude," Lady Lips dudes, looking mightily confused, "what are you doing?" "I know what you've been up to," Dreamboat Blaine cryptically replies, "and it just has to stop."
Smear sideways to the previous afternoon. While shortcutting through the cafeteria pantry on his way to the parking lot -- a route that cuts fifteen seconds from his daily routine, in case you were wondering -- Dreamboat Blaine spots Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen shoving packages of dry spaghetti into his backpack. DUN!
"I know your dad's been struggling," Dreamboat Blaine explains back in the present, "and I just want to help -- help you feed your family!" Lady Lips looks deeply uncomfortable, and he spins around to beat a hasty retreat, but Dreamboat Blaine won't let the matter drop. "Hunger's a big problem in this country!" he calls out, giving chase. "Although so is obesity," he realizes, "which is confusing." For whatever reason, Lady Lips decides to stop running and, after securing a vow of silence from Dreamboat Blaine, he cops to his recent bout of pasta-related larceny while insisting, "It's not for dinner -- it's for art!"
Cut to the McKinley High art studio, where Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen removes his hands from Dreamboat Blaine's eyes while asking, "So, what do you think?" "Are those..." Dreamboat Blaine delicately inquires by way of response, "...macaroni portraits?" The camera finally hops around to let us see what the boys are looking at, and yes, Blaine, those really are macaroni portraits. "They're my guilty pleasure," Lady Lips explains, quite conveniently name-checking the episode's title in the process. "My art teacher thinks I'm some sort of genius, like the ugly guy in Shine, except with macaroni." "Is that Emma Stone?" Dreamboat Blaine gasps, amazed. Indeed it is, doll, along with Falcor, a corpse, ZZ Top and St. Gay Of Lima. "The macaroni really captures him," Blaine sighs, getting all misty-eyed. Sam solemnly nods his head, and the two share a respectful moment of silence in honor of Blaine's ex-boyfriend. Hee.