Glee
Guilty Pleasures

Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 5 USERS: A
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Here They Go Again

And when it's all over, and when the applause is done, Single-T Tina pointedly inquires, "So, who was that about, exactly?" Kitty smacks her on the back of the head. Hee. Dreamboat Blaine LIES that it was about his ex-boyfriend, then further LIES that it was also about the nonexistent musical genius of Phil Collins, and it's clear from all of the expressions on all of their faces that none of his compatriots believe a single word of this bullshit, but Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen gallantly allows Dreamboat Blaine his fiction -- for now -- by accepting him at his word, and Sam rises to his feet to lead the other children in another round of applause that takes us into this evening's next commercial break.

We return from the break to land in the music room on what quite possibly could be the following afternoon, and as Dreamboat Blaine and Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen quickly promise, the next five minutes of airtime are devoted to back-to-back performances from various members of the club. First up are The Glee Gals with their version of "Wannabe," and yours truly finds himself participating in this evening's theme for the very first time tonight because this song is hateful trash, and yet I love every second of it. The Wham! and the Manilow? Not a moment's pleasure to be had between them. The Collins? Not feeling guilty about that one at all. But this? Wretched. And I could watch it forever. The Jazz Ensemble drummer doesn't agree with me, apparently, for he unleashes an almighty eyeroll at one point in the middle of the song, but that's okay, because that moment only adds to the all horrific deliciousness now on display. Even their costumes are disgusting in an absolutely awesome way. I feel ill. I've also never felt more alive in my life! Hooray!

Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, and once it's done, Artie applauds the ladies for their courage "in such an openly Spice-phobic time." He also goes out of his way to congratulate Kitty in particular on her exceptionally "happy" demeanor, so we know there's going to be an awkward scene in the very near future where he asks her out on a date and she shoots him down, and won't that be fun?

In any event, next up is New Puck, and he's of course immediately greeted with a vociferous round of boos from the children in the cheap seats. "Stop, stop!" he calls out. "I hear you," he assures them, "and I'm still gonna perform a Brown song, but it will not be Chris." Intrigued, his fellows lean forward in eager anticipation, only to recoil in fear and loathing once the band kicks in with this piece of crap by this piece of crap. Not-So-Unique and Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel even exchange a pair of "Guuuuuuuurl! The fuck is he thinking?" looks once they realize what's going on, so it seems as if New Puck will have many, many apologies to deliver once this is all over and done with.

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Glee

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