And once the moment has passed, Dreamboat Blaine earnestly thanks Lady Lips for confiding in him, then turns to leave. "Not so fast!" Sam yelps, rising to block Blaine's exit. "Now it's your turn," he adds, pushing for Dreamboat Blaine to confess his own secret shame. Blaine of course equates "secret shame" with "that massive Lady Lips crush I've been nursing for the last several months," and therefore insists he's completely devoid of any and all guilty pleasures, thank you very much. Sam calls him out on this obvious lie, and Blaine flails around for a little bit before finally claiming that noted early-'80s travesty Wham! is, like, his favorite band of all time! Because it turns out that Dreamboat Blaine is actually a forty-six-year-old Wisconsin housewife.
In any event, Single-T Tina chooses this embarrassing moment to rap on the art studio's door with news that Mr. Schue's missing in action this week thanks to a particularly vicious case of the writers no longer knowing what to do with him. Or, you know, he's got the flu. Your choice. "Hey!" Lady Lips perks. "Just curious -- are you gonna go over to his house and straddle him while he's passed out and rub some ointment on his chest?" Pause. "That was a phase," Tina frostily replies as Dreamboat Blaine struggles to suppress a sudden burst of the giggles. Heh. "Anyway," Tina adds before vanishing from whence she came, "don't bother coming to Glee Club this week -- it's cancelled." Dreamboat Blaine gets An Idea, turns back to Lady Lips, arches a brow, and smiles, "Not necessarily!" Sam's perplexed expression escorts us into this evening's title card.
Music Room. Various puzzled children arrive to find Dreamboat Blaine and Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen already waiting for them with the usually-mute members of The William McKinley Jazz Ensemble, and when Pretty Kitty questions why they've been summoned to the choir room, Dreamboat Blaine reminds everyone that Regionals are "only a few weeks away." "Even without an advisor," he continues, "we can't afford to miss one week of preparation." "Which is why," Lady Lips jumps in to explain, "we've come up with an assignment for this week!" "Please let it be songs about sweaters," Brittany begs. Alas, poor Brit-Brit! This week's theme actually is -- wait for it -- "Guilty Pleasures!" as Lady Lips has so helpfully scrawled upon the whiteboard. The assembled children greet this reveal with a grim silence. I should note that Single-T Tina looks especially hostile to the idea. Hee!