"Come on!" Dreamboat Blaine protests. "We all have some musical shame," he argues, adding, "That secret love we dare not speak?" At that, Artie and Tina exchange A Look Fraught With Significance that's far more amusing than it has any right to be, while New Finn openly scoffs, "And we're supposed to sing one of those songs for Regionals?" "No," Dreamboat Blaine admits, "but Sam and I were speaking earlier -- just, like, shootin' the crap, like two bros do, y'know -- and we felt really safe with each other, so we decided to reveal our guilty pleasures." "And it felt amazing," Sam enthuses, adding, "I mean, letting go of this big secret made me feel so good!" "And we figured if we all share our musical shame with each other, we could all become a more cohesive team for Regionals!" Swell idea, boys -- God knows it's better than anything Mr. Schue's come up with thus far this year -- but you do realize everyone now thinks you're doing it with each other, right? Neither Lady Lips nor Dreamboat Blaine seems to care about that at the moment, mainly because Sam's subsequent call for musical suggestions is met by a series of blank stares from his peers. "Guys," Sam complains, "this is a great team-building exercise!" "Okay," New Puck shrugs, "so you guys go first."
Having thus been granted permission for what they've clearly intended to perform since before this scene began, Dreamboat Blaine and Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen strip off their hoodies to reveal a matching pair of "CHOOSE LIFE" t-shirts, and here we go! The boys of The McKinley Jazz Ensemble swing into a cover of Wham!'s "Wake Me Up Before You Go-Go" featuring Blaine and Sam as George and Andrew, respectively, and despite some clear initial misgivings amongst the other children (most hilariously from the stone-faced Artie), everyone's soon happily bopping around the choir room. Until we all get slapped into a fantasy sequence over in The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, of course, where the children of The New New Directions do their best to recreate the song's original DayGlo-toned video up there on the stage, complete with black lights and short-shorts and fluffy coifs and fluorescent face paint, and yes, they're all obviously having tremendous amounts of fun, and yes, it's lovely to see a McKinley group number with some actual production values on this show again, but Wham! were the original tuneless Euro-fags, so color me way less than stoked, girl. God, this song is dumb.