Guilty Pleasures

Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 5 USERS: A
Here They Go Again

Cut back to the acting class, where the actual St. Gay essays an especially histrionic recreation of some past mishap in his life while His Voiceover concludes, "That's my real guilty secret, and if anyone ever found out -- especially Adam or, God forbid, Blaine, or even Rachel and Santana -- it would totally destroy me." Which of course means everyone will be finding out about Bruce in about five or six minutes, right? Of course right.

"Put some pants on," an urgent-sounding Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen tells Dreamboat Blaine. "I need to talk to you." Heh. Once Dreamboat Blaine is once again decent, the two gents meander through the warren-like maze of the McKinley High locker room until they find a relatively isolated spot to chat, whereupon Lady Lips prepares to confess something he's kept buried for as long as he can remember -- something that's been positively torturing his insides. "D' you have feelings for me?" Dreamboat Blaine hesitantly asks. "What?" Lady Lips gapes. "No!" he protests. "It's a million times worse than that!" Dreamboat Blaine immediately starts backpedalling, pretending his initial question was a joke, and once the two stop talking all over each other, Blaine tells Sam, "Well, until you can speak it, you're gonna be stuck in this shame spiral forever, so..." Lady Lips looks positively miserable for a very long moment, then blurts out, "I like Barry Manilow!"

All other conversation in the locker room crashes to a halt, and several of Sam's scantily-clad peers stare at him with expressions of open loathing and disgust on their faces. For his part, Blaine plunges headlong into full denial, bleating, "No! No, you can't mean that!" but Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen insists, "I just relate to the stories! The breakups! The lost love! Oh, and the rain! And who shot who? It's like he's talking right to me!" Dreamboat Blaine carefully hides the deep disappointment he's so obviously feeling at the moment and, after taking quite some time to consider his response, he suggests, "Well, then I think you need to come out to everyone and say that." "Once you stop hiding," he adds, "you'll feel so much better." "You really think," Lady Lips bleakly wonders, "that I can just stand up in front of everybody and say that I'm a Fanilow?" We'll find out, I'm sure, after this evening's first commercial break.

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