Glee

Episode Report Card
Demian: C- | 1921 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
I Don't Think You Ready For This Jelly

Casa...what the hell is Kendra's last name? Ah, yes: "Giardi." Kendra's trio of redheaded, mouthbreathing morons have lashed Puck and Quinn back-to-back in a pair of chairs, and now run rampant through the living room, toppling tables and plugging each other in the face with cakes and such while Quinn snarls at Puck for a little assistance in slipping the knots that bind them. Puck, who'd supposedly been texting either Gaylord Weiner or Butt Lunch because one of them's been having "weight problems," finally drops his phone to offer an assist, and I think we're meant to believe sparks of romantic electricity pass between the two when their hands inadvertently touch, but I don't watch this show for the crappy and pointless high-school dating angst they seem determined to shove down my throat, so I'll be ignoring all of that in favor of zipping ahead to the point where they've freed themselves. In a desperate attempt to get the shrieking little mutants to shut the hell up already, Quinn yells, "Hey! Want to see a real, live music video?" For whatever reason, the feral imps do, and so, the next thing we know, Puck's unleashed his acoustic guitar, and he and Quinn treat the hellions to an impromptu version of Madonna's "Papa Don't Preach," and sweet Jesus, that video I just linked to takes me back. That goddamned song was everywhere during the summer of 1986. Shut up, Madonna. And Staten Island can cram a sock into it, too. But I'm meant to be typing about Quinn's performance, aren't I? Well, it's sweet-sounding enough, but her technique is a little light for a song I've long associated with Miss Ciccone's heavier, throat-rasping wails, so whatever. I think I'd like it better if Quinn stuck to, like, Shirelles covers, or something. And then it ends, and Kendra's vile little rug monkeys are of course mesmerized because music has charms to soothe the savage breast, and as I'm on the verge of shoehorning yet another boob-related joke into the recap at this point, I'll simply note that one of the evil ginger dirt smears bays, "Sing it again!" and leave it at that.

Glee

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