Artie is quick to note that the card Kurt is holding is signed "Your Secret Admirer." And then everyone is startled as someone in a very ugly gorilla costume walks up behind Kurt to deliver a gorilla-gram. It's a "Be my valentine" message, along with a stuffed monkey and some balloons. Kurt rubs his true love in Puck's face (not like that!), and then asks Rory who he's bringing to Sugar's party. The answer is "Sugar," which brings Artie up short, since he had the same plan. So now they're going to fight for her.

Music room. Tina and Mike Chang sing a lovely rendition of "L-O-V-E" most famously performed by Nat King Cole. It's just them and the band, and the music is the background for a montage of Artie and Rory competing over Sugar's love. For every move one makes, the other tops him. Artie gives her a "hug me" candy heart, and then Rory gives her one that says "kiss me." Along with an enormous bag of other candy hearts. Rory stands at her locker and gives her a giant satin and lace heart that reads "Be Mine," and then Artie tells her to open the locker so that shiny plastic heart confetti rains down on her. Artie gives her a cute stuffed puppy, and Rory gives her an adorable live puppy. The song finishes, and we head to commercials.

Brit approaches Santana in the hallway, holding her pink laptop open in front of her. She's there to deliver a valentine, which is a playlist of, "All the songs I hear in my head when I'm with you, or when I'm thinking about you." The list was supposed to turn into a CD, but Brit-Brit couldn't figure out how to make that part happen without help. She turns the laptop to show Santana the cover she made, which is a cute picture of the two of them together. The list, by the way, features the following: "Purple People Eater"; "Disco Duck"; "Monster Mash"; "On Top of Spaghetti"; "Pac-Man Fever"; "Osama Yo' Mama"; "Diff'rent Strokes Theme Song." They're about to share a Valentine's kiss when we hear the clarion call of the Maharishi: "Teen lesbians! I must see you in my office right now."