Episode Report Card
LTG: C+ | 2 USERS: A+
Sugar High

Music room. Tina and Mike Chang sing a lovely rendition of "L-O-V-E" most famously performed by Nat King Cole. It's just them and the band, and the music is the background for a montage of Artie and Rory competing over Sugar's love. For every move one makes, the other tops him. Artie gives her a "hug me" candy heart, and then Rory gives her one that says "kiss me." Along with an enormous bag of other candy hearts. Rory stands at her locker and gives her a giant satin and lace heart that reads "Be Mine," and then Artie tells her to open the locker so that shiny plastic heart confetti rains down on her. Artie gives her a cute stuffed puppy, and Rory gives her an adorable live puppy. The song finishes, and we head to commercials.

Brit approaches Santana in the hallway, holding her pink laptop open in front of her. She's there to deliver a valentine, which is a playlist of, "All the songs I hear in my head when I'm with you, or when I'm thinking about you." The list was supposed to turn into a CD, but Brit-Brit couldn't figure out how to make that part happen without help. She turns the laptop to show Santana the cover she made, which is a cute picture of the two of them together. The list, by the way, features the following: "Purple People Eater"; "Disco Duck"; "Monster Mash"; "On Top of Spaghetti"; "Pac-Man Fever"; "Osama Yo' Mama"; "Diff'rent Strokes Theme Song." They're about to share a Valentine's kiss when we hear the clarion call of the Maharishi: "Teen lesbians! I must see you in my office right now."

Maharishi's Den of Double Standards. Santana is pissed off that she and Brit are prevented from kissing just because they're two girls. Figgins: "Please don't make this about your Sapphic orientation." He tells them the issue is public displays of affection, which have no place in school. He tells them that there have been complaints. He names the date and time, and we flash back to a completely innocent peck. Santana is enraged that they get called out for the tiniest display of physical affection while straight couples suck face with impunity. Flash back again, but this time to Finn and Rachel engaging in some tonsil hockey. Figgins: "Believe me, I'd much rather see you and Santana kiss than that so-called Finchel." Since Santana's been doing all the talking, it's kind of weird that he's addressing his remark to Brit-Brit. Unless maybe he doesn't know which is which. He mentions that the complaint was religiously-motivated, and that sets Santana off some more. She storms out of the office after giving him what for over the double standard.

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