Episode Report Card
LTG: B+ | Grade It Now!
Hell To The Gro!

Music room. Will draws a stick man saying "hello" on the white board. He asks the kids what they say when they answer the phone. Mercedes: "What up?" Matt: "Who dis be?" Kurt: "No, she's dead, this is her son." (Hey, Matt got a line!) Will tells the kids that Alexander Graham Bell, inventor of the telephone, thought the best way to answer it was "Ahoy hoy." (And you thought Monty Burns was crazy.) It was Edison who forced "Hello" down our throats. The point of Will's rambling is that the kids need to raise their game for Regionals, which means they need to start from scratch and reintroduce themselves to the world. Which he wants them to do by each coming up with a song with "hello" in the title. Nobody looks very excited.

But speaking of excitement, Will is now in Emma's office, sitting across the desk from her. The tension, she is thick. But not so thick that I don't notice that they've softened Emma's hair up a bit. I liked it before as part of her overall look, but the soft waves certainly frame her face beautifully. Will tells her that unlike all the other times he's sat across from her at her desk, he can lean over and kiss her if he wants to. You know, except for the fact that they're at school. In a glass-enclosed office. With kids walking by. Other than that, there's no reason they shouldn't make out. Will does want to kiss her, and he starts to lean over, but she freaks out -- she has to get ready. She grabs an aluminum attaché case, except that one side is clear plastic, and nestled in a piece of black foam are a complete set of dental hygiene products. I can identify mouthwash, toothpaste, toothbrush, dental floss, and a tongue scraper, plus two or three products that are a complete mystery to me. Guys, you know what this means? Emma made this case herself. She found a clear-sided aluminum attaché case, cut the piece of foam to fit, and then lovingly carved out a niche in the foam for each of her oral hygiene products. It's like there's a three-way competition on this show between Emma, Sue, and Terri as to which is the most genuinely insane. Also, if the producers are really going to whore the show out with a clothing line, I think they should just go all the way and introduce an Emma Pillsbury line of hygiene products.

Anyway, back to the scene. Will intercepts Emma on her way out of the office and tells her that he doesn't care that it's been more than 20 minutes since she last brushed and rinsed with bleach. After all, they've kissed before. Emma: "Yeah, but you caught me by a surprise sneak attack that time. It was like a pearly white harbor." She thinks her germaphobia is a very unattractive quality. Will rightly tells her that she's adorable, and then tells her that she's right -- they should clean up before things go further. But he means emotionally, not physically -- he thinks they should go on a date and get to know each other as people who aren't tied down in other relationships. He offers to cook dinner at his place. She didn't know he could cook. He tells her there are so many things she doesn't know about him, and that he can't wait to introduce them to her. To say "hello," as it were. Perhaps with an enormous bat that he'll hit her over the head with, just like the writers are doing with the episode theme.

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