Glee
Glee

Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 977 USERS: B-
YOU GRADE IT
"You Smell Like Craigslist."

The Lima Bean. St. Gay Of Lima and Dreamboat Blaine sit at one of the tables so the supremely annoying St. Gay might morosely complete an application for employment, because he's convinced his loss in last week's elections means he'd better "get used to a life of barista work and summer stock." And as my lovely and talented co-recapper LTG already pointed out the many, many ways in which St. Gay is full of shit regarding his stellar extracurricular résumé, let's ignore him completely and focus on Dreamboat Blaine instead. "New Directions is a mess!" Dreamboat Blaine eye-rolls. "We're gonna lose," he exasperates, "and I can't do a thing about it -- every time I open my mouth, Finn gives me these looks, like, 'What does he think he's doing?' I know what I'm doing!" And with Dreamboat Blaine's issue for the evening thus so efficiently established, it's time to welcome Sebastian The Predatory Homosexual back to the Glee screen. "Hey, guys!" he opens as he ambles over to their table all teeth and quiff and dimples and whatnot. He invites himself to a seat and proceeds to gush over Dreamboat Blaine's scorching hotness for a bit until he all-too-casually remembers to toss St. Gay's presence a rather limp acknowledgement. Dreamboat Blaine helpfully exposits that The Dalton Academy Swallows won their round of Sectionals earlier in the week, then bolts to fetch himself another cup of coffee, thereby allowing for the following bit of delightful banter between St. Gay and his rapacious rival for Dreamboat Blaine's affections:

St. Gay: I don't like you.
Sebastian: Fun! I don't like you, either.
St. Gay: I don't like the way you talk to my boyfriend, I don't like your smirky little meerkat face, I don't like your obnoxious CW hair -- I'm on to you.
Sebastian: Let's get a few things straight: Blaine's too good for you, New Directions is a joke, and one of us? Has a hard-luck case of the gay face, and it ain't me. Odds are, by the end of the school year, I'll have Blaine and a Nationals trophy, and you'll have khakis and a Lima Bean apron and that gay face.
St. Gay: You smell like Craigslist.

Glee

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