Music room. The kids are less than thrilled at the idea of rehearsing in a roller rink. Santana: "Weren't those outlawed in, like, 1981 for being totally lame?" Will tells them not to look a gift drunk... I mean, "horse" in the mouth, since April is giving them the space for free. For some reason, Will lets Kurt take the floor. Kurt gives a strange speech. To wit, "The New Directions is clearly a club with a dearth of direction. Rachel and Jesse refuse to accept that all of us would rather die before we allow them to become the next Beyonce and Jay-Z, and Finn's mother's romance with my father is sending him into a wholly unnecessary tailspin of despair. What we all need right now is to explore the idea of a sense of place, and how if we find that place within, we will get that happy ending." While he's talking, he grabs a convenient pile of sheet music and gives it to Will to hand out. And then he sings "A House is not a [the word I swore I wouldn't type again]." To Finn. Creeping out me and the rest of America. Chris Colfer sounds lovely singing this, but the best thing is of the reaction from the rest of the club. The mere mention of her name in the speech starts Rachel preening, even though she was clearly being insulted. Finn is freaking out, and Tina and Artie both trying to figure out what the hell is going on. Puck looks over at Finn and silently mouths, "You gay?"* Honey, if being looked at with lust by a gay guy was enough to make someone gay, you would have been joining the Lima Gay Men's Chorus by the end of the pilot, just based on the looks from me and Demian alone. Best of all are Santana and Brit-Brit, who hook pinkies as Santana lays her head on Brit's shoulder. In the middle of the song, there's a mysterious cut to Finn, singing a verse to the urn holding his father's ashes, sitting in the recliner. It's a little jarring musically, because he's singing it pretty high (which makes sense for his character, if he's only ever heard Kurt sing the song) and he's just not as good at that as Chris Colfer. Commercials.

* Some forum posters maintain that Puck actually mouthed "Your dad?" (or "Your chair?") to Finn. That may be so. But "You gay?" is funnier, so let's just pretend that happened.

Oh, and remember how at the beginning of this recap I mentioned that I had pretty much the same emotional experience as Kurt? Yeah. Junior year of high school. German exchange student lived with us, and we shared a room. I fell madly in love with him. And I was a creepy, manipulative, jealous freak. So I'm really not in any position to judge Kurt for his bizarre machinations in this episode. Because I did as much, if not more. And we shall not discuss it any further.