Sue's office. It's weigh-in day for the Cheerios. First up is Becky, who's excited to see that she's lost two pounds. Sue: "Well, Becky, you are assimilating beautifully. Instead of being different, and an outcast, you're just like every other teenage girl in America, sadly obsessed with vanity. Hey, before you know it you'll be leaving little baggies of upchuck in your parents' linen closet." That's Sue Sylvester, folks -- a role model for young women everywhere. And now it's time for Mercedes. Sue's not thrilled that she's still in her tracksuit, but Mercedes is very optimistic that all of her exercise and starvation will show some good results. And then she gets on the scale and finds that she gained two pounds. Sue's not happy, and she tells Mercedes that she's only got four days to lose the weight and get into a skirt. Mercedes doesn't know what to do, and Sue tells her that the only lesson any Cheerio ever needs to learn is "you do whatever it takes." I think Sue is telling Mercedes that she should murder Sue and dump her body in a swamp. (You guys, I just made myself miss Mary Cherry.)

Kurt is walking down the hallway when Finn runs up to him and asks him what the hell is going on with their parents. It seems that Kurt accompanied Burt to a parent-teacher night at the school and watched as fate (i.e., Kurt) brought them together. We flash to that night and see Kurt, monitoring his father to ensure he only eats organic food (of which there is none in Lima), suddenly drag his father across the room and introduce him to Mrs. Finn (whose real name is Carol). Kurt tells them how much they have in common -- namely, they each have a dead spouse. Carol has her pre-fashionable hair, and she's wearing her trusty old denim vest. Burt: "I was just saying to a friend that acid-wash would make a comeback." Carol: "Who said it ever left?" Kurt did. Emphatically. In the background, Kurt is thrilled to see Burt and Carol getting along so well. Back in the present, Finn thinks all of this is utterly impossible. Kurt: "When will you ever learn that nothing is impossible when it comes to love?" He asks if Finn hasn't noticed anything different about his mother, like the new hair and the banishment of denim vests from her wardrobe? Those are all Kurt's doing. As is the selling of the bad furniture. Kurt predicts that he and Finn will be roommates by midterms. Finn is still in denial, but Kurt tells him to give in to the inevitable. This expectation that they will be sharing a room is the reason Kurt asked for Finn's input on the redecoration. Finn throws a tantrum, telling Kurt there's no way he's moving and there's no way he's letting his mother sell the chair.