...over to New Puck's in his room. Both he and Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel are fully attired, because they didn't Do It, because they are morons. And as they exit to head back to the dance, the camera follows along until they pass by...
...The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway, who emerges from her suite's bathroom fully attired to gather up her belongings from the bed. Bloaty The Gravy Clown's passed out and snoring, so Old Idiot Rachel leans in gently to kiss him on the back of his head before turning to vanish into this evening's next commercial break.
My Ancestral Homeland. The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway enters the loft to find Dean Geyer waiting for her, and he's decorated the place in her absence so they might enjoy a belated Valentine's Day together. By the way, not once has anyone mentioned Santana's trip to Brooklyn at the end of last week's episode, which makes me wonder -- again, some more -- why they shoehorned that particular subplot into that particular episode, but whatever. Last week blew, and this week's been bizarrely entertaining, so I won't dwell. In any event, Old Idiot Rachel and Dean Geyer make schmoopy noises at each other and mack, and for some ridiculous reason, Dean Geyer immediately knows she spent a night with her old boyfriend. He proceeds to lecture her on the need for honesty in an open relationship -- which: Good point -- and after she breezily admits to her little assignation back in Ohio, he thanks her for her candor. "And what about you, huh?" she teases. "Who did you see, who did you do? I'm sure there were a lot of lonely girls in New York City on Valentine's Day..." "I stayed at home and watched weightlifting videos," he swears.
Cue the sideways smear to Dean Geyer exiting a pricey seventh-floor prewar apartment, pausing long enough to thumb through the hundreds he picked up from the dresser before disappearing down the hall.
Smear back to the present, but none of what follows matters because DEAN GEYER'S A WHOOOOOOOOOORE!
Hallowed Halls Of Dear McKinley High. Single-T Tina apologizes profusely to St. Gay Of Lima for "attacking" him at the reception, then apologizes profusely to Dreamboat Blaine for throwing herself at him over the last couple of weeks. They kindly tell her not to worry about it, and invite her to a double feature of All About Eve and Showgirls at "the revival house" that exists nowhere in Lima, Ohio. Single-T Tina wails something about turning into "Hagatha Christie," but the boys hasten to assure her that she's the most fabulous hag who ever hagged hagdom, or whatever, and the three links arms to trot off towards their next wacky adventure together.