Elsewhere, New Finn futzes with his locker until Stupid Boring New Idiozzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Long story short, she knows he was behind all of New Puck's extravagant displays of affection this week, and she thanks him for being a friend. I think. I'm going by memory, here, because there's no way in hell I'm actually watching this scene again. I don't care how goddamned broad his shoulders are. And when it's over, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel blunders her way into this evening's final commercial break.

McKinley High Teachers' Lounge. Bloaty The Gravy Clown enters and delivers a lengthy pep-talk that I will not be bothering to transcribe to the dejected Mr. Schue, and when it's over we...

...zip through a flirty little scene that I will not be bothering to detail between Overeager Artie and Big-Boobed Betty before we...

...land on the stage in The April Rhodes Civic Pavilion, where the children of The New New Directions perform this evening's final number -- Ellie Goulding's "Anything Could Happen" -- with Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel, Overeager Artie, and New Puck trading off on the lead. And as the kids bop around, the camera...

...leaps forward in time to the second week of March. The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway consults her day planner, realizes she's missed a period, and scuttles off into the bathroom under cover of darkness to whizz up a stick. Two minutes later, she doesn't seem all that thrilled with the results, but unfortunately for anyone who actually gives a rat's ass about this potentially horrific turn of events, we won't get an official answer on the state of Rachel's uterus until...

...the next new episode on March 7th! Blame Idol overruns for the interruption if you must. As for me, I'm going to enjoy the time off, because the next original episode promises to be an ungodly shitstorm. Have fun!

Demian thinks Dean Geyer's charging way too much. You may reach him at demian_twop@yahoo.com.