...see what's up with New Puck and Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachezzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz. Long story short, she got him a Valentine's present because she's a desperate and needy girl, but he completely forgot about the holiday because he's a thoughtless and inattentive boy, and isn't this simply hilarious? Adding to the fun, New Puck LIES about the amazing gift he so totally remembered to buy her, because we've never seen a subplot like this on TV before ever, and after she bounces on off to Spanish class, the eavesdropping New Finn slides up to New Puck to dude, "Duuuuude! You did get her something, right?" "Not yet," New Puck admits, "but I've got some ideas -- I've been brainstorming with my brother."
Smear sideways to The Lima Bean, where a porkpie-hatted Old Puck is all, "She's got some kind of eating-disorder thing, right? Take her out to dinner! Save a bunch of cash, then you can use that extra money to buy a ton of different lingerie and have her put on a fashion show! Chicks love fashion!" Not as much as I love you, Old Puck. Not even close.
Smear back to the present, where New Finn offers to help New Puck out, mainly because New Finn is so obviously in love with him. Sorry, "her" -- New Finn is so obviously in love with "her." And while I'm lingering on a freeze frame of New Finn's remarkably broad shoulders, I gotta ask: Why does he wear his hair like that? His hair looks so sexy pushed back. Will someone please tell him his hair looks sexy pushed back?
April Rhodes Civic Pavilion. Bloaty The Gravy Clown's sitting on the lip of the stage, riffling through sheet music, when The Horrible Hooker Of Broadway appears in the audience, because McKinley High has a security staff of zero. "Where have you been?" Bloaty bleats. "I asked you to come, like, an hour ago!" "I was getting a spray-tan!" Old Idiot Rachel replies in a line I completely missed the first time this aired, and hee! She's such a mess. Anyway, Frankenteen moans about the song he's supposed sing at the reception, telling her he's narrowed his options down to three possibilities: "Confessions," "My Best Friend's Girl," and "Lyin' Eyes." Excellent choices all, hon, but number two has a good beat and you can dance to it. I'd go with that. Old Finn complains that he couldn't possibly go through with the performance all on his own, so The Horrible Hooker volunteers to duet with him, because of course she does, and as they get a little too flirtatious with the subsequent banter for anyone's comfort, we head over to...