...Mr. Schue's History class. New Puck waltzes in with several members of The McKinley High Jazz Ensemble to interrupt Mr. Schue's fascinating lecture on bald eagles so he might serenade Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel with a song. A song chosen by New Finn, of course, who actually engineered this entire display because he's so obviously in love with New Puck. Sorry! Sorry -- "Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel." New Finn is so obviously in love with Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel. I'm sure I'll get it right sooner or later. Anyway, New Puck and his backup singers -- New Finn, Artie, and Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen -- look appropriately ridiculous in their velvet-trimmed fuchsia tuxedos (and where they found four pairs of matching Chelsea boots, I'll never know) as they launch themselves into "You're All I Need To Get By." And because every Marvin Gaye must have his Tammi Terrell, Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel promptly hops up out of her seat to join them. Shockingly enough, their fellow students choose not to pelt them with garbage, probably because New Puck is working that choreography to death. It's a shame the camera never lingers on him for longer than a few seconds before cutting away to somebody else, because he's got these mid-'60s Motown moves down. And while I dump -- with good reason, mind you -- on New Puck and Stupid Boring New Idiot Rachel's dumb storylines, I must give credit where credit is due: Jacob Artist and Melissa Benoist are goddamned delightful in this number -- it's easily the best of tonight's straight-up covers, and it's far more entertaining than at least one of this evening's narrative numbers. If these two can be so much fun here, why do they have to suck so hard everywhere else? Huh? HUH?
Yeah, I'm not really expecting an answer for that one. And when it's over, and when the kissing and the hugging are done, New Puck slaps a high five in New Finn's direction, excitedly shouting out, "She liked it!" New Finn struggles to stifle his heartbroken sobs as he watches the love of his life canoodle with a girl. DAMMIT! "Another guy." New Finn struggles to stifle his heartbroken sobs as he watches the love of his life canoodle with another guy. Also: Commercial break.