I Do

Episode Report Card
Demian: A- | 9 USERS: C-
Take Back The Cake, Burn The Shoes, And Boil The Rice

Church. Aftermath. The guests have long since left, and Bloaty The Gravy Clown and Mr. Schuester sit on the altar steps, wondering what went wrong. Naturally, Frankenteen asks a number of leading questions, wondering without actually revealing anything incriminating if he was the reason Miss Pillsbury ran out at the last minute, but Mr. Schue's answers indicate he remains in the dark about that kiss last week. Eventually, Santana Lopez appears before them to announce, "I have been chosen -- probably because I'm numb to other people's feelings -- to come here and ask what you would like to do." Mr. Schue's all, "About what?" so Santana explains, "The reception -- Miss Pillsbury's parents say they paid for the whole thing, so we might as well go ahead and have the party." Solid plan. Especially if there's an open bar. "And if you ask me," Santana adds, entirely unbidden, "they seem pretty happy about what happened." Hee. Bloaty The Gravy Clown starts to protest that they couldn't possibly have a party, given what's happened, but Mr. Schue shuts him down -- in the most kindly of manners, of course -- and tells them to have fun before exiting in search of his would-be bride.

Reception Hall. Wang Chung's "Dance Hall Days" blasts away on the soundtrack as the camera swoops through a heart-shaped bit of topiary to follow Brit-Brit and Lady Lips Von Bieberhausen onto the dance floor, where their exuberant gyrations send Santana and Quinn fleeing towards the free liquor. "We all should have known that a Valentine's Day wedding was just asking for a disaster," Quinn eye-rolls as the ladies approach the bar. Fortunately, the two have invested in a pair of fake IDs after that horrific Thanksgiving debacle at BreadstiX last November, and the bartender promptly passes them a pair of white wines. "You know," Santana playfully muses as the gals hoist their cocktails, "we always were two ends of the same bitch-goddess spectrum -- maybe that's why we love each other so much." "I have to say," Quinn replies, "you are killing it in that dress." Quinn places a friendly hand on Santana's shoulder that lingers there just a moment too long. Santana darts her eyes down to the point of contact for an instant before bringing them back up to Quinn's face as she thanks her for the compliment. Santana then glares at Brit-Brit and Lady Lips and sighs, "Look at those romantic saps -- you know, they may have love, but you know what we are that they are not?" "Flawless," Quinn answers without missing a beat, and as the two laugh and clink their glasses together, the camera pulls back to follow a tray of hors d'oeuvres over to...

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